Parenting Expectations for Academic Success
While coaching kids and mentoring parents for Selective schools and OC exams, I have encountered many different parents and kids. I have met disciplined and undisciplined kids, serious and uncertain parents. These encounters have made me develop a tremendous number of insights into my coaching career.
I want to talk to you about the biggest parenting pains that I have seen from my weekly encounters with parents and some conclusions I have drawn alongside a team of consultants that I closely work with. During our work, we have noticed a couple of parenting problems that often lead to children’s failure in their OC exams, which in turn prevents them from joining their choice of selective schools.
As a parent, you need to understand that nobody cares about your child more than you do. The biggest mistake parents make is not taking the responsibility of coaching their kids. Most parents depend entirely on the tutoring centers, which are usually not equipped with the right tools that can help prepare kids well for the OC exams.
I usually get a call from parents asking me to help get their kids to join Selective schools like James Ruse Agricultural High School, or Baulkham Hills High School. When I ask them what effort they have put on their kids to add to my coaching, most of them are often reply, “I don’t know.”
That’s when we start unraveling the process.
You need to understand that the performance of your child depends on your parenting style. It has nothing to do with your child or the situation. Let me give you an example. Many parents often come to me uncertain of their kids’ ability to pass the OC exams. They are like, “Steven I have been going to different tutoring colleges, yet nothing is working for my child.” I am always like, “What do you mean?” These parents claim that they have tried everything, yet nothing has worked, and so I ask them if they have assessed their kids to determine their weak points in different subjects. Most of them shrug off their shoulders, pointing out that the training centers are responsible for that work. I find this problematic. Honestly, you cannot send your child to a group tuition class and expect them to get good grades. Although, I know some kids can excel within tuition groups, guess what… some cannot. How do you expect children to do work without being guided? We should not forget that kids are kids. For this reason, parents need to take full responsibility for their kids’ education.
The quality of the kids’ grades is a reflection of the quality of time that parents take to train them. I understand some parents are concerned about primary school tutoring centres that don’t offer quality training to kids and I will 100% agree that many primary school tutoring centres usually don’t teach anything. Nevertheless, this should not be an excuse as to why your kid is failing math or severely incompetent in reading comprehension. A lot of that work need to be done by parents and there is no possible way around that. Therefore, parents need to tutor their kids from an early age instead of blaming them for their poor performances.
If they have a problem with concentrating for example, make them concentrate. If they are not performing well from the learning centers you have gone to, why not make the effort of teaching them more? You shouldn’t blame the teachers or the children even though sometimes they might be at fault. Instead, you should take the responsibility of making your child better upon yourself because that is the only way forward.
I have realized that kids who usually perform well have parents who have high expectations of themselves too. Parents who cannot properly plan their kid’s activities have kids who don’t perform well. This might sound harsh, but it is the truth.
The solution to these problems is to have realistic expectations of your child and start training them earlier. At the end of the day, if your child is 12 years of age and under, they are your responsibility. What you need to do at a very young age is to determine what kind of future you want for them.
Some parents come to me to tutor their kids three months to the selective school exams. I have often turned them down because I cannot make the kids improve in three months. Even if I can, I feel that it is not right to put the kids under so much pressure with a high chance that they might not even pass. Many of these parents get angry when I turn them down. Do you think this is a good response?
If parents start coaching their kids from a very young age, then the transition to OC class and selective school becomes super easy. But when they have no grounded foundation and their parents wait for the last minute to overload them and force them to take the vigorous exams, it NEVER works out well. Most opportunity class tests and selective school exams are at least 2-3 years beyond the normal school curriculum. So, whatever these children learn in school is not nearly enough preparation for these exams. This is why you need to make sure you train your children beyond the school curriculum.
You need to set realistic goals before enrolling your kids to take the OC exams. If you don’t set realistic goals, then it would be a waste of everyone’s time and your money. All brilliant kids that come to me at Scholarly have diligent parents who are doing great coaching at home. I understand that not all parents have the time to do this. However, if you expect your children to pass the OC Selective test without preparing them early enough, probably expecting a tutoring college to teach their children everything, the children won’t excel in the OC exams.
As a parent, you need to be more responsible if you are aiming for a selective school. It might not be easy, but if you want the best for your child, you should be willing to do what it takes. Children cannot succeed beyond the abilities of their parents unless they do it with their parents’ support. Therefore, you need to improve your parenting style before expecting your kids to excel in life.
Remember, parenting coalesces with all the OC exams, selective schools tests and scholarship preparation.