Scholarship G1 W2 Writing

Part 1.

Write a Narrative with this opening line and refer to the image: Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. (400 words)

Use the same framework of extended personification/metaphors and high-impact emotions to spice up your writing.

Exemplar intro: ‘The feral storm sneered diabolically as it commanded the clouds to loom into a hellish black mass. I could feel its torment wrenching the waves into oblivion, swirling in a vortex of disorder. My heart trembled to the spasm of the ocean as the rickety boat groaned in despair. I knew I shouldn’t have come out. If only, I had listened….’

Part 2.

Scholarship Interview Questions

Write about 3 of your greatest achievements using the following framework: 

1. Characteristic/LOVE/ PASSION 

2. Anecdote- little story\ROLE MODEL 

3. Achievement 

4. Thank everyone/grateful 

400 words 

67 thoughts on “Scholarship G1 W2 Writing”

  1. Part One.
    Stranded At Sea
    Dodo opened his eyes. He was at sea. Flash-backs came surging through his battered head. The fathomless ocean was enclosing him like the odious relic coming back.

    The rain was splintering and lashing the window pain like an agitated whip. The wind oscillated the dilapidated and abandoned ships. The trauma of losing his father in the hysteria of devils triggered Dodo’s unthinkable action. The shattering froth smirked and mocked Dodo as he rowed the Jon boat to the daunting and bloodcurdling ocean, it was as if they were chorusing the phrase, “He will be submerged in the sea’s dastard.” And they were right…

    Now Dodo was sprawled on a final remnant of the Jon boat. Scars smothered Dodo’s skin like a hundred knife slits. Dodo’s finger seared and yelped when he skimmed the serene water. There were no gushing waves hurtling his pinky or any tremorous shark gnawing at his hand, it was just a mere droplet devouring the remaining crumbs of comfort left in Dodo. The rest had left Dodo’s heart baron and desperate. Thoughts raced through his head just like how a criminal felt when they were questioned outside the police station, “Did you truly commit this hideous scandal?” .It was a stampede of strain.

    It was his fathers snuggles. It was his fathers scolding when steering the vessel. It was his fathers echoing of saying good night for the last time to Dodo that compelled him to go home. So he could make that good night only just the beginning of his prized fathers enduring affection.

    The delicious burden laid upon Dodo was swept off as he caressed the water, moving inch by inch. After agonising hours of labouring the fear of losing his father, a tip of a leaf appeared, then it was a crevice and soon, it was an entire frond of a palm tree!

    The sand crept into the gaps of Dodo’s toes, but instead of feeling like unwelcoming snakes, every grain of sand felt like pinpoints of hope. Then he saw it, the fishermans workshop. It was where his father perspired brooks while cleaning and sanding fishing lines. Dodo had ventured across the entire bay. Then out of the blue, quite literally, Gary, the store owner in his fishing trunks and sun kissed hair said that Dodo’s father had gone home to find him. Dodo was anticipating with utter horror about paddling across the treacherous bay and facing glacial waters and the condescending sun again. Dodo pondered about staying in town for the night and wait for his father to pick him up in his hefty vessel tomorrow but his father didn’t have a shift the following day so that proposition had been dashed like all hopes.

    But like the tenderhearted and genuine Gary, he offered Dodo oversized dungarees and a chequered shirt. After that, Dodo was whisked off to the dock to catch the ferry. Cotton clouds with etched wings leisurely strolled across the boundless plains, they placed hope in Dodo to find his father. Soon, the clouds would be rewarded with content and warmth when Dodo reunited with his father just like a quivering puppy and exhilarated owner.

  2. Part Two.
    List Three Of My Greatest Achievements

    My name is Elvie Lin and I currently attend Ryde Public School. I would like you to get to know some things about me.

    When I started to be able to read the first few words, I was captivated by books. When I read my first novel, Matilda by Roald Dahl, I was amazed by how he could pull me into the pages of the book, into Matilda’s harsh world. Books have always seemed like a haven for me and a getaway into fantasies and different dimensions. For every book and encyclopaedia I read, I found myself in the pitless oceans to goldmines. I find Doctor Seuss an inspiration for me because of his desire to read more. He said, “The more that you read, the more things you’ll know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go”. I find this true every time I read. I’m very thankful for my mother and father for buying me books and supporting me, always changing my interests in genres. They’ll go out of their way to bring me to the library and shops which is something I’m very grateful for. I also wouldn’t have my interest in books if it weren’t for my teacher who has encouraged me to read everyday and discover something new in books. After years of reading, I’ve gotten a gold award for the NSW premier’s reading challenge. But I don’t read because it brings awards but because reading brings me instant pleasure.

    I’ve always loved engaging in conversations but when I’m around people I’m not familiar with I can take a little time to open up. But now I can start a conversation any time. I love how you can always have speeches and there’s always an adrenaline tingle when I speak. I love how every word I say doesn’t have to be planned. When I was younger, I used to be timid but it was my friends and guests that talked to me first then the rest of the night was exhilarating. I was always encouraged and looked up at their bravery to start a conversation. So over the years I did that too. I’m really grateful to my debating coach at my school for encouraging me to speak up and feel happy instead of nervous in debates. When I give my arguments or anything to say, I feel delighted. I admire how Martin Luther King Jr could speak to thousands without megaphones yet still be brave with his own voice. I decided to see how I improved in speaking so I participated in the Multicultural Speaking Competition this year. I also became a finalist. I can see that I have made steady improvements over the years.

    The last thing I want to tell you about is that I’m a persistent person and I love to work hard. I find that everyday there’s always a challenge you have to overcome. I find a comforting feeling about working hard and achieving something you’ve always wanted to overcome. When I was younger, I had broken my leg, but even with a cast and wheelchair, I tried doing everyday activities even if it was frustrating. I’m really thankful to my parents and teachers for always motivating me to try everything even if I find it impossible. They always support me by helping me get back up again and always encouraging me to embrace new things. Rafael Nadal said, “I play every point like my life depends on it”. This quote to me means that Nadal is always playing every shot with his 100% effort and won’t play without working hard. In my school, I received the consistent effort award which has shown me that by always having a positive mindset and working to your best ability, it will pay off.

    I hope that you have gotten to know some things about me. Thank You.

  3. cn-camnguyengmail-com

    PART 1
    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea.
    “Alright now we’re going to learn how to survive in strong currents.” announced Dodo’s instructor, Lewis. It was his final lesson on sea safety and once all the work was done with, his parents would get him a trip to Hawaii.

    Lewis pointed at different places in the ocean, and then made a swimming gesture with his arms. Dodo looked towards his friends. They were all listening to what Lewis had to say about staying safe in the ocean. Dodo couldn’t care less. He imagined how he would be relaxing in a hammock on the beaches of Hawaii, drinking from a coconut shell.

    “Dodo! Pay attention! This information can be useful for you. Remember what happened last time you were caught in a current?”
    The class snickered and jeered. Dodo reddened, as Lewis proceeded with the lesson.

    It was the final part of the year: the examination. After they sorted into groups of four, the groups clambered onto a sailboat each. Lewis blew his whistle, the five boats riding out towards the horizon.

    It was only a matter of time before the boats were called back. Dodo, being in charge of his team, refused to return to the dock, not realising that the clouds began to close in and darken. Folding his arms behind his head, he lay down on the sailboat, drifting off to sleep like the boat drifting out to sea.
    The boat must have fallen apart while I was asleep, Dodo thought. His eyes widened, while thinking that his team members must have drowned because he was asleep. Lightning cracked above his head;, Dodo gripped tighter onto the wooden plank.

    He wouldn’t have been stuck in the middle of the ocean if he had listened to Lewis. Thunder rumbled again as the waves buffeted against Dodo. He wasn’t drowned, however, thanks to his life jacket. He struggled to swim towards the shoreline, forgetting how to swim against currents.

    “Dodo! Where are you?” he heard a hoarse voice calling.
    “I’m here!” Dodo attempted to screech over the rumbling of the clouds and splashing of the waves. A light was bobbing towards him. Could it be his rescue?

    The yelling crescendoed as the light came nearer. Dodo was eventually able to make out Lewis in a lifeboat, coming to his rescue, through his blurry vision. He reached out for Lewis’s hand, as Dodo was heaved on board.

  4. part 1
    The feral storm sneered diabolically as it commanded the clouds to loom into a hellish black mass. I could feel its torment wrenching the waves into oblivion, swirling in a vortex of disorder. My heart trembled to the spasm of the ocean as the rickety boat groaned in despair. I knew I shouldn’t have come out. If only, I had listened….

    The truth had come. The snicker of lightning, the roar of thunder, the crashing of waves into the thin barrier that separated me from death. I felt the hull of the boat creaking as each wave smashed into it, water seeping through gaps in the framework of the boat. I grabbed a bucket on board and started throwing as much water overboard as physically possible. If this boat wouldn’t make it, nor would I. I had no time to think. Just to do.

    It finally happened. The lightning struck within 15 metres of the boat. I had been awoken from my daze and delirium and immediately thought of a plan. I assessed my surroundings. The wind was blowing eastward, roughly perpendicular to the direction I was sailing in. Thus, most of the waves were coming from that side. To not be capsized, my only method of survival was to dart in front of the barrage of incoming waves and behind them. I was also being attacked by the crashing of waves from lightning strikes, as well as the high possibility of being electrocuted from the water.

    It was like war. I was fighting a grand war of attrition. I was stuck in the trenches (My boat) and the lightning was confined within their natural boundaries. I had a small supply of bread and onions, as well as water. He didn’t have or need them. That was it.

    The infinite boundaries they had, and the meagre boat I was confined to, gave him a huge advantage. My plan was to just stay down low. Regretful thoughts raced through my mind. Was this it? No. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t/ Land was less than 25 km away, I would make it one way or the other. Wave after wave crashed into the boat. The sound of chaos erupted around me. I couldn’t take it.

    The thoughts I had pushed away minutes earlier raced through my mind.
    I was scared.
    I was frightened.
    I was traumatised.

    The final chance of hope came. The gap between heaven and hell. I aimed to reach for it, but was a millisecond late. I perished.

    1. I love maths and physics a lot. It has been my passion through my 10 years of living. I do maths problems every day, I solve sudoku puzzles whenever I get time, and all because of my backstory. Since I could hold a pencil in my hand, I started studying. My parents showed me the successes of other children like Ethan Tan and I was also inspired by people like Einstein. I was inspired not by their skill, but by what they did. Maths. I personally always like to find the way into everything, and maths is something that is big in that process. For my whole life, I have been a huge lover of trains and planes. So, one day, when I was little, around 6 or 7, I decided to start looking at my Dad’s calculus books and his engineering booklets. In the 2000’s, my dad did a course at the University of New South Wales. He kept all of his booklets and books in the house. So I took this opportunity and decided to analyse the equations in his books. I ended up making my own train using these. I borrowed some of his formulas and made my own to make the train. I ended up also, a bit later, trying to make a COVID vaccine in 2020 only using maths. It was very much useless, but I still keep the documents to this day. Finally, I made a small booklet on atoms with maths and basic physics. You can see my mathematical abilities are astronomical. I also did SEAMO in 2020, 21, and 22. Even though I barely got a participation award each time, I learnt a lot about maths and how to solve problems using logic. I developed my understanding of the concepts of ratios and even, now, can easily outdo my father in maths. My logical abilities have skyrocketed. Finally, my NAPLAN and ICAS scores. In 2020 and 21, I came in the top 98% in both years for the entire country, and for NAPLAN got above rank 8 and was one of the highest in my class. For science, I got again in the top 1% in 2020.

      I am also a huge geography and history buff. Ever since I was a little kid, I just couldn’t help looking at maps. I memorised cities and countries, their geographic location, and their properties. I always thought about why countries’ borders were the way they were, and ended up picking up a lot on world history.
      I am interested in things like the spread of theravada Buddhism from Sri Lanka and Burma, why Portugal took Goa first instead of some other place, the Maginot line, and even stuff like Operation Barbarossa flopping at Stalingrad. I may not have won any awards, but I have been complimented by every single teacher I have had for my extensive knowledge on these 2 subjects, and my enthusiasm for them. I look forward to doing the International geography bee in May of this year.

      I like swimming. I have been swimming since I was barely 2 years old, and have always been the best in my class. I remember how it felt for me, kicking my legs on the board, and zipping on the water from one end of the 6 metre pool tok the other. I also overcame one of my greatest fears through swimming:
      Swimming in the deep end. By the time I had made it to the deep end, I was around 7 years old. It was hard for me to take in this extreme stress and I was very pessimistic on my chance of survival. But, I survived it, and ended up making it to the squad team by the age of eight, with other teenagers. I also was swimmer of the year in 2018. This was all through intense practicing, going an hour earlier than the class to practice my strokes, and improve my speed and strength. It has all paid off.

      I would now like to thank the great people to help get me where I am. They have helped me get so far in life. Firstly, my mother. I thank her for being there for me when I needed her most. For teaching me how to count, read, and add. For being the best help I could have.
      Secondly, my Grandmother. For encouraging me to always go further, and teaching me how to do half the things I need to do. And finally, my father. He helped me learn how to do the hardest maths out there. For providing me with all the resources I needed.

  5. Interview Part 2

    Da Vinci 3rd place in legacy/history
    When I was young I always liked watching videos about history a long time ago and mysteries such as the bermuda triangle and the mh370. I tried to understand all these mysteries and war in the past and I quickly became familiar with all these strange mysteries. I remember when I was watching the bright side bermuda triangle mystery and it was my favourite mystery of all time, having planes and ships disappearing without a trace. This has led me and my team in da vinci getting 3rd place in legacy. I would like to thank all my teammates because they were supportive whenever I didn’t feel like persevering and also getting us to this achievement. I would also like to thank our coach because she helped us prepare and organised all our activities to do through the preparation time.
    Trinity Grammar Academic excellence in english
    I always liked reading books when I was young, any books, fiction, no fiction or even anthologies. Books always caught my interest and understanding the author’s mystical world, if it was fiction, or maybe a vivid description or real life, if it was non fiction. My favourite author is Tui . T Sutherland for the Wings Of Fire series because she has described a whole new world, complete with dragons and all their history, vividly enough for someone to only read the first books and understand the world. This has led me to our annual prize giving to grant me an award for academic excellence in english. I would like to thank my English teacher, for making sure I understand all the concepts in a book, and my parents for giving me access to all these wonderful books.
    Top 10% maths olympiad
    Before I even understood what numbers where I started pressing buttons on my Mother’s calculator. Understanding these strange symbols has always been a passion of mine. I liked seeing how different equations changed how numbers merged together or decreased in value. Now that I am older and interested in figuring out solutions to theories and infinity related questions. Infinity has always puzzled me, is it a real certain number or is it just a concept of a huge number? I also like solving questions like the grandi’s series and the infinite hotel paradox. All this has led me to getting the pin for top 10% in maths olympiad. I would like to thank my maths teacher, for she was always patient and organised everything behind the scenes, and my parents for helping me out with maths problems

  6. Out at sea

    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. The seething kahunas variegated the friable balsa which was struggling to stay afloat whilst the tempests streaked at the ocean, making the saltwater broadside like a hailstorm of atomic teeth, all digging to find a way into his skin. Blinding rabid scythes pierced through the sky, broadcasting the words miscue and demise carelessly and opening its arms in mockery. Lightning pranced in the air, blinding dodos’ eyes whilst thunder walloped its barrel of cataclysmic fate, dominating a defeating tune over the onlooker. It was a brutal battle. An infinite ocean against a feeble raft. How could he possibly claw his way to success? He suddenly felt his heart drop out of his chest as he realised that he was sailing right into the heart of an ever-impending tsunami, and it wasn’t giving him a wave.
    Dodo glared warily around in hope of finding land and failed. He shut his engorged eyes and waited for the harbinger of doom to grapnel him down into the doom-black abyss below. He was submerged into a pool of consternation, melancholy and saltwater, breathing in gulps of obscene brine with the unmitigated malodour of algae, extorting him to gag. He clinched thoughtlessly through the dominant umbra of collateral hell, beseeching for a raft, a gasp of breath, a anything that could rescue him from the seething catastrophe of seawater, then, finally, his ripped, emasculated hands caught onto a vessel. He heaved himself up to see what had been his saviour and his eyes fell onto a single, petite flagellum of wood.
    As he tried to steady himself from the crazed mess below, his hands cried from heterogeneous cuts. Crimson blood was already oozing out. His eyes blurred as the winds whipped him from every direction, an antagonising bolt of pain shot through his haemorrhage hands as it touched the salty water of the seas. Suddenly, a bright light bathed him like a guardian angel. His pupils went wide, his thoughts were constantly repeating “I’M SAVED! HELP CAME!” like a broken audio tape. “HELP!!” he bellowed through his fatigued lung “SAVE ME!!!” when a current thrashed him away using its knifelike hands. his eyes fell.
    Dodo’s gaze darted towards a jagged crag and clawed towards it, holding on for his dear life. Holding on despite the pain of his screaming body, screaming hands and screaming heart. All screaming “I shouldn’t have done this. Why did I do this” “I failed.” He said aloud. “I shouldn’t have ever signed up for the mission, and now the crew is dead, my spirits are dead and I am almost. I have failed… I have failed…I have…” three…two…going…going…the waves washed me down and hauled me to the bottom of the dark, dark sea. I was so close, yet so far. I reached the bottom before I could think the last gone. Darkness engulfed me in its wings as death came to take my soul into his arms…

  7. Part 1
    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. The once glimmering sun was sweeped away clean by dark and swirling vortexes of clouds, tendrils of zephyrs creating a whirlwind of fear around Dodo, propelled by the terror, every once of darkness in his memory. His own life flashed around him, the greatest memories he had felt with his friends, washed away by a simple ship, a cheetah in speed, but a mouse in durability. In all of these thoughts flashing around him like a hyperactive supernova of light, made him forget to breathe. Gasping for air, he heaved himself back onto the debris of his fallen boat, its remains churning around in the rough seas as he found himself on a large chunk of unstable and rickety wood.

    A flurry of emotions swarmed Dodo’s curious but bold mind. In one sense, he was desperate to reach success, to prove all others wrong and become the first one to do something, propelled by sheer spirit and determination. On the other hand, life was precious, not to be wasted and thrown away like a simple ragdoll. It was a one use, and you could never come back to experience the same things you had once done in life. Lighting roared like a dragon chained by fury and anger, while the wind howled like a wolf, the waves dancing like a graceful shark, still channelling its wrath and rage as it continues to lash out against Dodo’s insignificant boat it’s jaws wide agape as it swallows every last bit of his puny sailing boat, collapsing into ashes as the heavy pounds of water batter it.

    He had convinced his brother to go with him, thinking about the bold journey to the ruins of structures, but he had quit at the last second, knowing of the dangers to come. Dodo knew that he was too scared, but he went along anyway, knowing that if he had found it, he would’ve been granted forever lasting fame. But as Dodo lay on his rotted and debilitated piece of wood, he knew he couldn’t leave his brother alone. Using all his remaining strength, he pushed with all his might. The sky had returned to its normal azure colour, shining like a gleaming ray of light, clouds puffy and drifting. Yet he had almost wasted his energy alone. He was a dark cloud drifting by himself, no one to help him. He could hear his brother’s voice in the distance, and as the sun blazed like a fireball, he drifted off to sleep.

    The sun suddenly shone in his eyes, and was it a hallucination? He could see his dear brother’s face above him as he rejoiced in joy. It was the only thing he needed to keep him going, and the relief he was feeling was painted on his face, smiling as grateful as a man could ever be. They were finally a family again.

    Part 2 Interview Question 3
    English has always been one of my most enjoyable subjects I know. When I was little, I was already reading lots of complex books, and they were extremely interesting to me, having concepts that one could always think about. You could learn about the highs and lows in life, as well as pondering about interesting ideas, and how one could make such an interesting book. It’s truly amazing how one can capture us in such an amazing book. When I was six, I had already completed the first 2 books and movies of the Harry Potter series, and was ready to read more. One of my favourite role models is Rick Riordan, because he has combined his comprehension of Greek mythology, using some aspects to teach us as well as creating an amazing science fiction series that many around the world enjoy. Because of all of these books and authors creating such an amazing contribution to our world, I have achieved a full mark of 50 for OC. This was all possible because of my loving parents, and many other people such as my teachers and the authors that made my comprehension of books better and made me think deeper.

    Mathematics has also been one of my favourite subjects throughout the years because of the captivating ideas that can be created. The idea that one can find the area of a circle is amazing, especially because it was done almost 2000 years ago. It’s also amazing that every question has an answer, not like English where it may be something because of logical thinking, but if you go outside the box there are answers that are equally as likely. No matter how long you spend on a question, it is almost impossible to not come up with an answer because each answer has a logical answer.

    I enjoy maths because there are lots of different types of it, and a week ago, I started using a rubix cube. It’s fascinating that there are 43 quintillion different cases, but each one has an answer to it. My role model for maths is either Archimedes or Pythagorus because they managed to create an equation thousands of years ago that is still used today. The fact that you can realise that the area of a circle is created by a number that is truly infinite almost 2000 years ago makes some question if they even did it. Because of my love of Mathematics and the internet, I have achieved the perfect score of 25/25 in Math Olympiad, and this was all possible to my parents, especially my dad, my brother, my teachers and of course, the internet.

    Finally, I consider myself good at DIY creations, such as a mini motor boat created with remote controllers and motors that can propel themselves or making a structure using cardboard. These creations are extremely fun for me, as they use aspects like electricity that humans even today don’t have the best understanding of. About a year ago, I took apart a helicopter and I used the controls to create my own motor boat, and it was an extremely fun experience even though it fell apart. My role model for DIY creations is Leonardo Da Vinci because even though he had such brilliant ideas, no one believed they would happen, but here they are now. If one would create ideas on how to make a time machine or teleportation device, it might seem like the same thing in 200- 300 years just like it seemed like us and Leonardo Da Vinci. This is why I used it for my Personal Interest Project and excelled in it. I would like to thank my dad for encouraging me and taking out the parts of a helicopter, making it possible to give me the determination to truly succeed and continue to make more projects.

  8. sarah-h-yonggmail-com

    Part 1
    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. The aggravated infuriated storm mercilessly swallowed up the clear halcyon waters and the canary yellow sun and sent them flying into oblivion, never to see the light of day again. The rickety ship he was aboard shuddered precariously in the abrasive water. The creaky floorboards had withered away from the salty spray and splintered at every step Dodo took towards the edge of the boat. As he looked over the edge in desperation, the exasperated water indignantly attacked him in a flurry of hatred and rage. The water struck a blow in his eyes, temporarily blinding him from the unendurable sting of sea water. His eyes vociferate in pain as the sting finally faded from its diabolical wrath. Dodo slowly blinked and looked around the ship. He felt it gradually getting deeper and deeper into the water. Then he came to realise that the boat had a massive hole in the bow and was sinking rapidly!

    Frantically, Dodo catapulted everything overboard, attempting to lighten the load. Once everything was gone, he went to inspect the hole. The water was up to his knees, so clearly the leak wasn’t getting any better. He strode over to the side and looked over the edge as the ineffectual, wooden, grimy box he was in plummeted down into the darkness of the endless amaranthine abyss of denial and grief. Suddenly, Dodo sprang out from the boat into the briny depths where snakes of water meandered and spiralled around his legs, pulling him down to the rocks at the bottom of the sea. The water flew Dodo at serrated rocks, stabbing him and inflicting damage to his dry flaky skin like sharp serrated knives slicing at him and drawing blood from his wounds.

    Dodo drifted to the surface, unconscious from his injuries and nearly out of air. He surfaced and came back to his senses. Gasping to feed his vacuous lungs, he took deep breaths and scanned his surroundings to search for any sign of civilization. A distant ship in the distance caught his eye. Up in the crowsnest, he saw a pirate grasping a scintillating effulgent compass. Dodo pumped his legs to propel himself forward to the ship. By the time he made it, he had lost all feeling in his languished bedraggled overworked legs. He cautiously hauled himself up the ladder hanging over the side and with a final, gruelling strenuous motion, he made it to the top. He raised his wrinkled nodular chin, only to be met with the detestable unprepossessing face of a pirate captain! His mind screamed DANGER and the words ricocheted throughout his head. For once, his mind was right.

  9. Part 2
    At an early age, I was already fascinated by the world of numbers. It’s wonderful how people just need a few numbers and some equations to create countless different results. Because the numbers in maths are endless, I have been amazed by the names people have come up with for bigger numbers, for example, quadrillion and quintillion. In my spare time, I sometimes even work out some maths problems for fun. This year, I have recieved a Top 10% in my school’s Maths Olympiad. I also made full marks in NAPLAN maths and all Check-in Assessments. I want to thank my teachers, who have taught me everything I know, and most importantly, my parents, who supported me whenever I was stuck on a question.

    In school, I always stick to good discipline and working hard as much as I can. In last three years, I suffered from COVID-19 a few times, but I still attended all the online lessons, even though I was really sick. I have been awarded the school’s annual GOLD Award three times, and as part of the reward, I had chance to have morning tea with our school Principal. I won the “Commendable Effort” certificate from Marie Bashir public school two years ago. I also was awarded the precious annual medal — Summer Hill Blue 2022. I should thank both my parents and school teachers for their valuable support.

    Sports is really important for physical health. My parents encouraged me to try all sorts of sports, and I enjoyed a few of them, e.g. swimming, rope skipping.
    I’m currently attending MLC School Aquatic Centre 3–4 times a week in Metro Squad. Every Saturday I get up at 5AM to attend the swimming training. There were a few times when I was feeling so sleepy at 5AM that I didn’t want to wake up. But I tried to remember how good I would feel after the swimming session — this really motivates me to wake up. I am well supported by my parents and coaches. For any future challenges and opportunities, I’ll strive for excellence.
    I also like rope skipping very much. This year I joined “JUMP ROPE for HEART”—the Australian Heart Foundation fundraiser. I jump rope 300 times a day, every day, online fundraise to improve the heart health and quality of life for all Australians.

  10. Part 2

    Ever since I reached my capabilities, I always had the desire to read. Every time I open a book, it pulls me into another world. The first book I read was the twits, by Roald Dahl. It was my mother who gave it to me and when it touched my fingers, they urged for me to flip the page. Ever since that moment, I was fascinated by the world of books. They became an aqueduct to a sanctuary far far away from the problems of the world, where you could lie without fear of being singled out. The twits allowed me to be taken into the harsh environments of the main character, which was a monkey. Now, in every book I read, I find myself facing a dark wizard with Harry Potter, or stealing books with Liesel Meminger. Sometimes, I find some things challenging or confusing, but as Mrs. Phelps from Matilda says; “don’t worry about the bits you don’t understand, just let it wash around you like music.” Just recently, I won the premiere reading competition and I got a perfect score for ICAS reading. I am extremely obliged to my mother and father because if it wasn’t for them, I would have never loved reading the way I love it today. I am also grateful for J. K Rowling for producing such excellent books.

    Ever since I was a child, I was fascinated by numbers. I loved how they flowed alongside the world, and then, when I reached 5 years old, my father bought me a book on mathematical procedures and equations. I was captivated when I realized that the world follows the Fibonacci sequence, which motivated me to push on. I found myself immersed in mathematical books, learning about Pythagoras’ theorem, and recently, I got the top 2% award in maths, although, it was my family and Steve and his awesome tutors who kept pushing me and helping me achieve my goal. I thank my mother the most because she was always motivating me and paying my tutoration fee.

    I always adored jumping into conversations with my little brother or other people. I love how every time I do it, I feel a tingle of adrenaline shoot through my body and a small balloon of excitement would inflate in my chest. When I was small, I was afraid to express my opinion. And I was constantly insulted by some people on how I was smaller than them, and every time, I felt an ocean of anger wash over me as I thought of ways to counter their arguments. Then, one day, after being fiercely encouraged by my parents, I spoke up and slashed their faces without moving a muscle. Recently, I got into my school’s debating team and we destroyed all the opponents’ arguments. I think that if it wasn’t for my parents, I would never have even dreamed of doing any of the things I do today.

  11. sarah-h-yonggmail-com

    Part 2
    Ever since I was younger, I have always loved numbers and patterns because of how everything fits together if you put things in the right place. My parents have been pushing me to do various puzzles and mathematical games since a young age. I was inspired by Eddie Woo, who is famous on youtube for his videos about math explanations. He began doing this when one of his students fell sick and had to stay home for large periods of time. My knowledge of math has been extremely helpful with everyday things, like finding out how much something I want to buy costs when it has a discount or simple things like reading the time. It has also been helpful in acquiring awards as I have gotten Academic Excellence twice in a row, both mainly because of my mathematical ability. I would like to thank both of my parents for pushing me to do things and for helping me succeed. I would also like to thank them for paying for my tutoring as it has helped me improve my skills even more.

    In life, sports are important, for both your physical and cognitive ability. I have picked up many sports in my life, such as soccer, swimming and tennis. I look up to my older sister as she is extremely good at swimming. I have watched her swim and when I first did I thought that I would want to as well. This has helped me during my swimming lessons and when swimming at home. It also helped me to get in the top 11 for breaststroke for CSP Tideriders in America when I was aged 7. I would like to give a huge thanks to my mum for pushing me to go to swimming lessons when I didn’t want to and my sister for helping me learn some swimming skills.

    I have always loved reading books, whether they be long chapter books or graphic novels. I have been passionate about reading because of the encaptivating descriptions and storylines contained in them. One of my most favourite books is the Hobbit. It was written by someone who inspired me, J. R. R. Tolkien. He inspired me because of the interesting books he has written. I love his books and I am currently reading the first Lord of the Rings book. Reading has helped me achieve a lot, including two reading excellence awards that I got from my single term at North Shore Coaching College. I would like to thank my mum and dad for buying me books to read and to help improve my skills.

  12. Part 1
    Surviving the Storm

    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. Lightning was the powerful shot of a gun, angrily encasing his boat, while all the frightened birds near him hurriedly flew away. The dark, choppy water raged on below Dodo, meaning a certain, horrible death. The winds viciously attempted to knock Dodo off his boat, and each droplet of rain from the grey clouds above pelted his back like a sharp dagger. Flashbacks began to enter his head as he regretted his actions that had led him to this dreadful place, far away from any help.

    It had been a warm, sunny day, and there were no signs of any storm approaching. Dodo and his friends, who were on a school holiday, had decided to hire a boat and explore the ocean by themselves. Sam, the boatkeeper had pointed to a sign, warning, “You must follow the rule this sign says!” The sign read: “CAUTION! DO NOT PASS MARKED RED LINE!” “Otherwise, the sea across the red line could be dangerous to you!” Sam had further explained.

    Dodo and his friends nodded to the rule and set sail. They met many sea animals and discovered colourful corals beneath the water. Dolphins swam gracefully next to Dodo and his friends and underneath the water, turtles and jellyfish roamed. A small wave appeared, and Dodo pressed the “JUMP” button and the boat jumped over the wave. Then, more waves came, and Dodo and his friends had fun jumping over the waves. Dodo and his friends were having so much fun that they forgot about the red line and passed it. Suddenly, a fierce wave as tall as a skyscraper appeared. Before any of them had time to react, the wave crashed down on the boat, making Dodo pass out on it.

    Not sure how many hours had passed, Dodo regained his conscious. He slowly opened his eye and checked if any of his friends had survived, but no one was on board except for him. “They might have all fallen into the sea and drowned,” he sadly thought. His hope plummeted, but Dodo tried to sail the boat out of the storm—the obstacle that was blocking him from the sea beyond. Dodo used all his energy to row the boat out of the storm, since this was the only way that he could find a way back to the island. BOOM! A lightning strike almost hit Dodo, who was just centimetres away from it and could have been burned to a crisp. The waves rocked the boat, making it difficult to move forward through the storm.

    After a long time of vigorous rowing, Dodo made it out of the storm. It felt like the world had turned 180 degrees as soon as Dodo stepped out of it. The grey clouds were parted by the bright, welcoming sun. The heavy rain stopped, and the destructive winds calmed down. The lightning disappeared, and a rainbow lit up, creating a kaleidoscope of colours across the skyline. There were no waves as big as a tsunami anymore; instead, the water barely made a few ripples across the surface.

    As Dodo sailed further, he saw something promising in the distance. An island! Dodo was hopeful and quickly sailed towards it, since he could see houses on the island, which meant that there would be people on it. After an hour of tireless rowing, Dodo finally reached the shore. To his surprise, it was the island his family was living on for their holiday! Dodo ran towards his house and was reunited with his worried parents, who thought he was dead. They then enjoyed the rest of the holiday without any other problems.

  13. Part 1 by Aaron Wang

    On the boat.

    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. His dingy rocked and swayed, threatening to throw out the sloshing mess of his dinner out of his stomach. The duo of salt and sea laughed tyrannically at Dodo as his swollen back was whipped by showers of salt. His sense of direction was lost and he couldn’t see further than a few metres in front of him. Nature was against him, but he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

    Dodo gripped tightly on the ropes that held up the sails. He tugged and forced the sails of his boat to come down. There was no way he would survive the storm and the wind pushing his boat around. He wrapped the sail around his body to offer some protection against the cruel, angry salt. He lay down with the sail firmly around him, and prayed.

    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. NO! screamed Dodo. The stormed raged around him, towering over him like a falling skyscraper. He could do nothing but wait until the skyscraper fell on top of him. He looked back to the shore. He had been searching for the fabled treasure that was located only a few more kilometres away from him. His eyes got misty and tears ran down his cheeks. His parents had told him not to. His friends had warned him against it. Yet, stubbornness wins out, and he runs away from home. He deserved to die. A disgrace to all that he met. Nothing but an incompetent wannabe that never succeeds. He sat on his boat and waited until the storm took his life.

    Here! Dodo! Do you here me? a rescue worker yelled above the noise of the engine of a lifeboat. Dodo was unconscious. The rescuer neared and grabbed onto Dodo before hauling him onto the lifeboat. Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. I’m saved. Thought Dodo. Then, thinking back, he realised that his life was not worth it. He blinked one last time before plunging into the icy depths of the ocean floor.

  14. Part 2 by Aaron Wang

    From a young age, I had always been interested in problem solving and math. It was always so satisfying solving a difficult puzzle as the way the elements of the problem fall into place is always enlightening. Once during the holidays, my mum got me to do a pattern and problem solving booklet with her. It was so enjoyable that after even an hour it hadn’t got boring. Math is also fun because of the way you use simple calculations and number manipulation to solve a huge complex problem. My dad spent hours every single week to help me improve my math skills. Because of this work, I earnt the highest achiever award in my school for the Math Olympiad. This is all thanks to my parents who pushed into the wonderful world of numbers and logic and all the times they assisted me with my math.

    When I was still young at just the age of 5, I had already began my career in swimming. I was in China back then and I was being coached in a one on one lesson with my coach. Her name is Chinese and I don’t want to attempt to spell it in English as that may be offensive. In this time I learnt so much in swimming and also improved very quickly. Now I swim for the seahorses club at Lindfield public school. This club has two coaches, Larissa and Oleg who were both originally Olympic swimmers. Nearly every day my parents drive me to the pool and pick me up. They pay the entry fees for the competitions. Because of the great encouragement of my parents to pursue swimming, I was able to be selected in my clubs relay team which was able to win bronze at the state championships.

    I had always loved reading. Whether it was picture books when I was little, or novels now, it had always been a part of my life. Reading is very interesting because it transports you to a new world. When I was reading the Land Of Stories, it honestly felt like I was in a land of stories. One of my favourite authors now is Eoin Colfer as he has a wonderful way of keeping you on the edge of your seat until the last word. Because of this I was able to complete the Premiers Reading Challenge with flying colours. I must thank my parents as they were never reluctant to supply me with books.

    1. scholarlywritingfeedbackgmail-com

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  15. diem-dngmail-com

    Part 1
    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. It felt like he had been in the sea for ages, bobbing about in the waves. The salty water flowed into Dodo’s mouth as he splashed around frantically. The pitch black clouds tackled the sun and surrounded it, leaving the sky to darken.

    After producing fruitless results, it would soon occur to Dodo that the only way of getting out alive was if some people found him. The only thing to do now was wait. Dodo stayed, floating in the water, looking from side to side to check for anyone that could save him.

    But nothing came. There was no sign of anything coming anywhere near him. The only sound he heard was the sound of the waves crashing over each other. The only thing he ever saw was the pitch black sky and the dark blue water. The only thing he ever smelled was the salt in the ocean. Trying to look for something which would help him would be like trying to find the pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow.

    Eventually, Dodo found the boat which he had previously been sailing. Dodo climbed up onto the boat, regaining all his lost energy which almost ceased to exist. Dodo panted heavily, feeling cold. This would be his fate, wouldn’t it. No one would find him, and he would be left there, all alone, stranded in the middle of the sea.

    There were no supplies aboard the boat, so the prospects of him surviving were minimal. There was basically nothing Dodo could use on the boat which would benefit him, other than using it as a place for resting.

    The next problem would be how Dodo would be able to get clean drinking water. The only way he could get clean drinking water in these circumstances were if he had a water filter, which he didn’t. Then, there was the food problem. There were lots of fish in the area that he was in. The one problem was Dodo wasn’t able to cook it, leaving no source of food.

    It would be impossible for Dodo to survive, and he knew it. One full day passed, and Dodo lay on the boat, arms and legs spread out in resignation. He waited for Death to come and take his soul, but Death waited, torturing Dodo with hunger and dehydration. Dodo could barely stay awake, and he couldn’t maintain his balance.

    Soon, the ocean would become Dodo’s throne, but also his grave.

  16. Part 1
    Another Chance

    Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. The waves rose higher and higher; thundered nearer and nearer; broke into a cacophonous roar of boiling foam and rammed into the stern of the boat like galloping foam horses. The spray from the waves was a bleeding mist in the red light of the setting sun – their thunderous roar like a wounded animal. The ominous storm sneered diabolically as it commanded the clouds to loom into a hellish black mass. An immense guillotine blade of lightning streaked across the horizon and illuminated it with a stark sapphire-whiteness. Dazzling arrows of lightning tore the night sky apart, ripping its belly and flooding the boat. A mass of churning foam rose in an arch high above the boat, threatened to bury it in its watery grave and into the inky depths.

    Dodo glanced around – the raging sea was swirling with indignant anger, livid blue bulging eyes and devilish, malicious, intimidating jaws thirsty for its next prey. Exactly as Dodo felt, that very moment. Indignant. The once glimmering sun of hope was swept away by the gloomy and swirling vortexes of clouds, tendrils of zephyrs forging a whirlpool of fear around Dodo. Propelled by the terror, every ounce of darkness reappeared in his memory. His own life flashed before him; the greatest memories with his family were washed away from one infuriated day.

    For the first time in his life, Dodo did the unspeakable. He rebelled against his parents. All for what? At that very moment, he didn’t even know why. Was it just teenage adrenaline? Why did they have to be so overprotective? So sheltering? So restrictive? Dissolved in all of these thoughts flashing around him like a hyperactive supernova of light, he forgot to breathe. Dodo sprung up, gasping for air, when he noticed something in the ocean. From the depths of the sea, a family of whales appeared unexpectedly. They stuck together through thick and thin, despite the raging waters engulfing them.

    Burning tears of remorse, regret and realisation flooded down Dodo’s cheeks. He was wrong. The family of whales stuck together and didn’t leave each other. Dodo did the opposite. “Why had I been so careless, so reckless? I knew I shouldn’t have come out. If only I had listened.” Dodo thought. He looked back at the darkness of the endless obsidian abyss of guilt and regret. But, there was another path. A calm, vivid, shimmering gold path of hope. Dodo looked at the whales. The whales looked back. Together, they fought for survival against the torrential, relentless sea until Dodo collapsed into exhaustion.

    As the warm sunlight lifted his eyelids, the last image Dodo could remember was calmness and seeing the fading whale family into the shimmering waters.

    He survived. The whales survived.

    Another chance of life. Another chance to see his parents. Another chance to say;

    “I’m sorry”

  17. Part 1

    Lost at Sea

    Thunderous clasps of lightning emerged from the gloomy, pitch-black sky. Vapours of smoke covered the sky like a misty curtain. The sea was midnight blue, and waves and tides swept from and to the boat, where Dodo had rested, woken up by the deafening sounds of the violent storm. It seemed as if the whirlpool of storms would not cease; it was like it could keep coughing and coughing out more and more typhoons and cyclones, ready to destroy anything in its path. More and more lightning came and cackled at Dodo’s impending doom, as blasts of storm came and went, sensing the villainous creature that was destined to come…

    Dodo was a fine man, to say the least. He always kept his timing of regular activities perfect, down to the very second. This was what got the better of him. One day, he went to a business party to celebrate his companies’ success in the previous year. However, all hell broke loose. A giant tornado ran through the city of Los Angeles, and a massacre occurred in the unexpecting city. He was the sole survivor. He’d seen it all happen; his friends dragged into the whirl of irresistible winds, which sent them in the clouds and destroyed them.

    Dodo only survived because he ran straight to his yacht and drove away, only to find that only a few litres of petrol was left. And then was the present, poor Dodo stuck in the middle of the sea, unhelpable, inescapable and miserable. How despicable were the winds? Destroying an entire city and, most importantly, a man’s will to have hope? Sensing the unbearing feeling of melancholy, a strange creature appeared from the deep ocean. Its dragon-like entrails covered its serpent-like body, thousands of crocodile-like teeth blanketing its large, snouted mouth.

    Pushing the boat, the mystical creature pushed the boat to shore, and Dodo saw the truth of the power of the devastation wreaked upon the city by the soulless tornado. The sky tormented the desolate Dodo, who wept and wept at the sight of his wife’s necklace, shattered. His heart dropped, and his urge to live was no longer. He wanted to join his friends and family, forget about all his troubles. But he couldn’t do it. He still had a life to live, and he wasn’t gonna waste this chance. He was going to march up towards San Francisco, committed to avenge his partner’s death once and for all.

    Part 2

    My passions: Soccer, Maths and Writing.

    Ever since I was a child, mathematics was my area of fascination. At the age of 4, I had completed multiple puzzles and problems, and I loved to have more and more to solve. I always adored having another word problem for me to solve because it would broaden the understanding I have of my favourite subject. Because of this passion for maths, I scored well on the OC examination last year, earning myself a position in Artarmon. This was all thanks to my mum, who had supported me and helped me study for OC. She also drives me to school everyday, which allows me to reach my full potential.

    Starting to train and play at the age of 6, I had long been a fan of football, or soccer. I tried out for many PSSA teams, including this year. I loved the companionship taken in the sport, which makes my teamwork skills grow at a rapid rate. I also enjoy a little friendly competition, because that, in my opinion, is the joy of playing sports. Also, I frequently watch soccer games such as this year’s FIFA, which I thought was extraordinary. I love soccer, and because of this, I have earned many trophies and medals for my participation in the sport. To be honest, all of this was created by my mum and dad, driving me to soccer training and such. Without them, the part of soccer in my life would’ve been nothing.

    Although my passion for writing only started this year, I discovered how creative and fun it could get. Writing essays can be boring, which is why I favour narratives over them, just because persuasives are downright, but with stories, you can have twists and turns, joy and sadness. Writing also makes me forget my own troubles, which can often be extremely annoying, to me, at least. Here’s a funny story, when I was in year 2, I was still writing plain sentences like this: ‘I walked to school on foot.’ As you can clearly see, I was the underdog of the class, most of the others already started to write complex sentences. But this all changed in year 5. My teacher had told us to write long narratives, and essays that had thousands of words. This made me realise how fun writing could get! Because of this, I scored the triangular section of the NAPLAN chart. Without my teacher, I would’ve been below standard, such as band 5 or 6.

  18. Dodo opened his eyes. He was out at sea. The fierce storm enclosed his meek sailboat, and bright tendrils of lightning reached out. The sun was blocked out by dark, vile clouds. The scowling storm spat at him. Dodo’s heart skipped a beat as the boat nearly capsized. The rain stung him as his timid, small boat fought the wrathful storm, it was fighting a losing battle. The storm was quickly and easily beating Dodo’s little boat. If he didn’t find land soon he would be doomed to a watery grave. Dodo stood at the bow of his ship, looking out at the infinite ocean. It seemed like he would be doomed to a watery grave.

    Dodo wished he had listened when everyone said not to go. Now he was stuck in the middle of an ocean with a ferocious storm hounding his tiny sailboat. Luckily, for now, the storm was merely toying with his ship. It was like a cat playing with a mouse before eating it. Unless he could somehow perform a miracle he would be sentenced to die alone with no one knowing where he was. Dodo wondered whether his family would ever find out his fate. He had left so much behind when he left, everything he had planned for counted on him coming back home alive. Now it was all a waste, just another failure.

    Dodo shook his head. Regretting leaving wouldn’t change anything. The only thing that he could change right now was the future. Dodo stood up and, with renewed determination Dodo steered the boat. Using all his might to at least go in the direction the nearest island on his map was. It most likely he wouldn’t reach it before capsizing or sinking but maybe there was a chance.

    After what felt like an eternity, Dodo looked out, searching for land. There it was! An island. Happy silver pearls ran down Dodo’s face. Seeing land gave him energy, enough to leap off his worn-out boat and swim to land. When he reached the beach’s golden sand. He heard some familiar voices. His family!

  19. cn-camnguyengmail-com

    PART 2
    1. Stage work and acting has been a part of me for almost six years now. I began taking some drama classes at the age of four and at the time, I almost wanted to quit acting since I found it a bit tiring at first. However, after seeing Emma Watson acting from ten years old up to her present age, her work motivated me to continue working and building on my acting career. I starred in two films during my erly years of acting, Little Monsters (2019), and The Egg (Jane Cho). I would like to thank my mother for signing me up for acting and my eldest sister for helping me with my movie auditions.

    2. When I was in Year Three, I enjoyed learning in the subject French. Our teacher even encouraged us to learn more by giving us lollies as rewards if we did well in class. Our French teacher always used interesting methods to learn and memorise the words. I saw how my friend Mia worked hard in French to get the Year Four French award and her work motivated me to work harder in French lessons. At the end of the year, I was awarded with the best performance in French in Grade Three. I would like to thanks my French teacher for teaching me throughout my time I was learning French and I would also like to thank my peers for always supporting me and helping me.

    3. I enjoy playing and listening to music because all the different styles can affect my mood and my mindset. I was only four years old when I was introduced to my fIrst musical instrument: the piano. When I first set my hands on the piano keys, and looked at the music, I struggled to play the notes and adjust to the hand movement. But after seeing how my sister played the piano so well after practicing more and more, I wanted to become like her. I thank all of my piano teachers for guiding me when I couldn’t figure out how to play certain sections and also my sister for helping me progress through piano.

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