Your friends will MAKE or BREAK you!

Summary Keywords

friends, play, video games, roblox, games, selective schools, peer group, comment, affect, effect, influenced, pretty powerful statement, playstation, very interesting concept, goals, conducive, party, felt, fortnight, discord

Speaker

Steve Xu

Transcript

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Steve Xu 00:00

Friends will either make or break. You know, that was a pretty powerful statement. But trust me; all the greatest successes in my life have come from my friends, and all my worst failures have also come from my friends. So this is a very interesting concept, but there is a psychological concept called the Peer Group Effect, which basically states that you are the average of your five closest peers. How does this affect you? Well, let me take you back to when I was a kid, I think I was maybe like 10 or 11 years old at the time. And all my friends were obsessed with video games, right? All my friends were like Steven, I wanna play Counter Strike. I wanna play this game. I wanna play this game. And all they did was they spent all day long talking about video games. And to be honest, up until this point, I had absolutely no interest in video games. I thought video games are boring. I don’t want to play video games, right? I had absolutely no interest at all. But because everybody was talking about all of these new video games, and even getting getting a PlayStation, getting Xbox, I convinced my parents to buy me a PlayStation. And then I convinced my parents to buy me all these games that I didn’t even like. 

But I found myself kind of trapped in this vortex of trying to be like everyone else, because I want to be similar to my friends, and I wanted to play with them. I didn’t like feeling like left out. And so I would begin wasting hours and hours every single day playing these games that I didn’t even enjoy and just finding myself somewhat addicted to this process. Later on, I made the decision. I said, You know what, I don’t play these games anymore. And I, unfortunately, had to leave my friends, and I had to make new friends. And this is a- and I was lucky. But I know that a lot of you guys are not so lucky because you don’t realize how much your friends and how much your peers affect you. And so I wanted to make this video to kind of let you guys know, and more importantly, warn you so at least you’re aware of how powerful your peer group is. If you find yourself in a situation, doing tasks that are not conducive towards your goals. Like let’s say for example, you’re going for the selective schools test, you’re going for an OC test, and all your friends just play video games all day long. And they play Roblox, they play Fortnite—I love Fortnite by the way, I love Roblox as well—but there is a time and place for that. If there are only four months or three months left until selective test and OC test and all your friends want to do is play video games, what you need to do is you need to isolate yourself away from them. Right? 

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 Not completely, but isolate yourself away from them, so that at least you don’t get influenced or affected by their wishing or wanting or desire to play video games. Why? Because it’s only healthy for you. If you have no intention to play video games, you’re just neutral and you don’t want to play video games, then putting yourself in more of a solitary bubble, right, where you maybe you make some other friends or you do something else, or you make friends with different interests that are more conducive to you, that will be just so much more healthy, both psychologically (and) mentally for you, because you won’t ever be dealing with that friction anymore. And I can tell you throughout my life, I’ve made a lot of friends. And I’ve also lost a lot of friends. Because my goals and because of my life’s trajectory. I remember even recently, you know, having to distance myself from certain friends, because all they would do is just go out party, you know, all the time. And there’s nothing wrong with partying and making friends and doing all that kind of stuff. 

 But I was like, No, I need to focus on building my business, focusing on my law studies and things like that, and not go out partying. So I think it’s just a very, very important lesson. Educate yourself on the importance of the peer group effect. Do some research on the peer group effect. And let me know what your thoughts are. I want you guys comment down below. Have you ever felt compelled or have you ever felt influenced by your friends to do something that you didn’t want to do? Right? Or have you ever been distracted by your friends let’s say on Discord or all of these different like social media websites? Comment down below; let me know. And more importantly, let me know what are you gonna do about it? So now that you’ve heard this video, now that you know about the peer group effect, what are you going to do about it? And I’m not telling you guys to ditch your friends, right? Your friends are always going to be friends. Perhaps you want to make new friends. Perhaps you want to establish healthy boundaries. Comment down below. What are you going to do in the future so that you ensure you can succeed right and whatever it is you want to do? Let me know guys, thanks and I’ll see you on the next video.

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Scholarly's selective school and opportunity class guru, Steve Xu

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