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Your Child is YOUR FAULT and YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

Summary Keywords

selective schools, parents, child, kids, exam, teach, english, difficult, question, work, coach, writing, number, listen, piling, compounded, learn, method, maths, started, selective schools test, oc test

Speaker

Steve Xu

Transcript

selective-schools-test-and-oc-test
Steve Xu 00:00

Hey, parents! How y’all doing? Me, Steven, here. Hopefully, everyone’s having a great day and you read the title correctly. I’m talking about your child is your fault. So, you know, I make this video with the greatest intention of hopefully delivering some value to you guys. But I understand that this title and what I’m about to say is going to be very, very controversial. So keep that in mind and come in with an open mind, right? Because this is coming from a tutor, right, who has taught hundreds of kids and whose delivered results. At the main crux of this group is obviously to elevate your child’s results, not anything else, right? When we’re not, we’re not here to kind of inspire children to learn, we’re none of that. At the end of the day, most of you parents are wanting your kids to get into a top 10 selective school or opportunity class, and I’m here to break it down for you very, very simply. And here’s what I mean by your child is your fault. 

Recently, I’ve gotten two parents who’ve, you know, commented in and then you parents, and they pretty much said, Hey, Steven, you know what, I try my best with my child, I sit down with my child, I work with them on a daily basis, and they just refuse to work, right? They- they’re not inspired. They don’t want to do the work. They refuse to do the work. We’ve tried to do, you know, the reward-punishment mechanism. And here’s what I have to say to that. Well, number one, children are going to be children, right? The number one most important thing that you guys need to realize is that no child wants to sit down for literally three or four hours at a time and do you know work or study for selective schools test. We’re talking about children who are like as young as 9-10 years old, and you’re expecting them to sit down and study for three, four hours straight, it’s just not going to happen, right? That’s number one. Number two is oftentimes our expectations as parents will or your expectations as parents, I’m not a parent yet. But your expectations as parents will always exceed your child’s capabilities. And here’s what I mean. 

Understand the process

Most parents think that their children are capable of sitting down and being some kind of wonder child where they have to sit down and do the work without, you know, without complaining. And that’s simply just not true, right? As parents, you guys should understand that it’s a very difficult process to get a child to actually sit down and do the work. And that’s compounded by a couple of facts. Number one, you might not be competent to teach your child, right, let’s just be honest, most of the parents in this group will not be competent to teach a child in English and writing. I’ve said this many, many times that some of you are not competent to teach a child in even maths. So if that’s the case, that’s the only compounding the problem. Like let’s say, when you’re going through the exercise with your child, and you don’t know how to explain the questions properly, or let’s say you lack patience in teaching your child, your child can feel that, and when your child feels that they’re going to respond negatively, right? They’re not gonna want to listen to you, right? And this is what I’ve seen time and time again. 

Now true, I’m going to agree and say that, hey, there are many, many times when children do not want to do work, right? And that’s happened many, many times. It just didn’t even in my case, when I was little, just to be honest, right? I never want to do I just never saw the reason and doing work, and I was like, You know what, you know, what’s the point in doing this work for selective schools tests or opportunity class test (oc test). I’d just rather play games, and especially in today’s world, when we have an attention deficit, right, where literally kids are used to, you know, getting that quick satisfaction of YouTube, or Netflix, of all of that. It’s very, very difficult as a parent to compete with those big kind of, you know, entertainment sources, right. But this has been a problem forever. So now, the question is, what’s the solution to this problem? You might be asking or, Steven, I’ve been watching your videos for a very, very long time. 

What's the solution?

What’s the solution? What’s your solution to this problem? What couple of things come into play? Number one, you need a certain method. And number two, you can’t keep on blaming your child. I see so many parents on a daily basis. And I mean this with the greatest respect, blame their children, for their own incompetencies, right. Like I said, in the other video, I’m like, You know what, the best parents will educate the best kids. Your kid is your creation. Your kid is your responsibility. Your kid is your fault. If you suddenly come into year four and year five and you suddenly say to your kid, hey, you know what, kid, let’s- son or daughter, let’s just start working and let’s just start doing three, four hours of work for selective schools test or opportunity class test (oc test). They’re not going to listen to you, because why should they? Number one, you haven’t set them up with the right foundations. Number two, you’ve just kind of piled them on with this kind of oc test preparation. They don’t really know what’s going on. So of course, it’s going to be very, very difficult, right to get them on board. And it comes from, again, taking a lot of responsibility on yourself as parents and realizing, hey, you know what, what you expect of getting your kid into a top 10 selective school or opportunity class, getting them a mark of 230 plus,

See also: Why Your Good Intentions and Hard Work means Nothing

Steve Xu 04:28

right, is going to be difficult. It’s not an easy journey. You guys have all been through this process yourselves. You guys have been through school yourself. And when you guys went through school, you know, 30 or 40 years ago, some of you maybe 20 years ago, it was very, very different back then, because back then, you didn’t have so many distractions. You didn’t have Netflix. You didn’t have YouTube. You didn’t have all these different things. And so you can imagine how difficult it is for kids nowadays to concentrate, right? So you need to understand the process is going to be extremely difficult to get kids concentrate. Again, like I mentioned before, you can’t blame your kids for it, right? It’s just natural order, right? If kids are not interested, if kids are not excited by what they’re learning, they’re going to deviate, and they’re gonna go into something like Netflix, YouTube, all that kind of stuff playing video games, right. 

The other thing that I want to talk about is, as parents nowadays, if you are coming in here, and you’re already in year five and six, so you have the oc test or selective test in five weeks time, here’s what I can say. You need, again, to invest in a coach, you need to invest in somebody who knows what they’re doing, right? So like, let’s just put it- put it simply, if a lot of parents come to me, and they’re like, hey, Steven, I’ve been coaching my child on how to do English and writing myself. I’m like, okay, great. What would you get if you did the selective schools test tomorrow yourself? Let me repeat that question again. As a parent, if I gave you selective schools test tomorrow, what would you score in English and writing? Chances are, you wouldn’t score highly and chances are you would actually score lower than your child. So the question then becomes what makes you qualified to teach your child English and writing? And the answer to that is obviously you’re not qualified. Right? And so how can you actually- why would your child listen to you if you’re making mistakes in English? 

If you don’t know the right formula in writing, why would they listen to you? Right? It’s- it’s that simple, like most kids, and I’ve had parents who are doctors, I’ve had parents who are lawyers, right? I’ve had parents who had actually taught the HSC in English, come into my lessons. They’re like, Steven, you know, I would have gotten that question wrong. I wouldn’t have scored higher than my child in the English reading comprehension, and I’m like, Yeah, that’s true. You know why? Because the reading comprehension that you get nowadays, and selective schools test and oc test is ridiculously hard, right? It doesn’t matter what your English ability is like, or your English ability was, if you are not well versed in breaking down questions and understanding how to analyze poetry, and understanding the trick questions which might pop up during selective schools tests and oc test, you’re not going to do well. In fact, you’ll probably end up doing worse than your child. So then that brings me to the point what makes you qualified again, to teach a child? Right? 

Why should your child listen to you?

Why should your child listen to you? I know this is going to be confronting. I know a lot of parents are going to be like, Steven, this is, you know, Steven, this hurts my feelings. But this is the truth, right? I’ve had kids whose parents have, you know, coached their kids to the upper echelons, right? Kids, kids whose parents have really dived deep and really got their kids to the very, very highest levels before they even come to me. And I’m telling you, those parents who are in this group, those parents have literally analyzed the oc test and selective test to a tee, right, they’ve literally quit their jobs. So they spent four or five hours after work every single day going through those oc test and selective test questions with their kids, so that they could probably score very, very highly and oc test themselves. Because if you can’t score highly in the oc test and selective test, how can you teach it? Doesn’t really make any sense. 

This is not- remember, again, selective schools test  and oc test is not like sports, right? And sports, let’s say for example, if you’re teaching like some like swimming or running, you just tell the kid just do more running, right? Do more swimming, right? And the coach can be you know, fat slob, and they don’t need to actually execute and be a practitioner themselves. But in the selective schools test or oc test, because of how much it’s changed, especially in English and writing, let me emphasize, especially in English and writing, if you don’t have the right training, if you don’t have the right mindset, if you don’t have the right, certainty, right, or the methodology in teaching English and writing, again, you’re gonna fail. I’m putting it that simply to you. Most of you will also struggle in terms of maths because even if you know maths, what’s the right method to teach maths? Comment down below, are you a parent right now who gets really, really frustrated with your child in maths because you’re constantly having to repeat things over and over again? And it seems like the child’s never getting it?

selective-test-and-oc-test-angry-parent
Steve Xu 08:26

Are you currently getting a little bit frustrated, a little bit impatient with your child? Because I see this happen every single day. I have children come in, and they’re like, You know what, my parents get frustrated with me because they explain the question tens, hundreds of times, and I still don’t get it. I’m like, yeah, because it also requires, again, a skill set of teaching and a skill set of patience. And to be completely honest, when you have a nine to five job when you have to go to work, when you have mortgages to pay, when you have all that kind of stuff to do, it becomes very, very difficult, right? To start teaching, right? It becomes very, very difficult to land fundamentals and learn how to do this. Marcus, no, this is not the 6pm video, it’s just a video just to clarify a couple of issues that parents like you might have brought up. 

So again, like I said, if you got five weeks left, before the oc test or selective test, the main thing that you guys need to do is level up as a parent, understand that the process is going to be difficult. If you want your kid to get into a top 10 selective school or opportunity class school, the secret that the top parents aren’t telling you is that there’s a lot of fighting in the very, very beginning, right. There’s going to be a huge amount of resistance in the very beginning. When you start piling up piling on work to your child. If your child starts crying, and you start going, oh, you know what I don’t I don’t really want to go there. It’s because again, you’re not certain with your methods. If you’re certain with your methods, and you stick through it, and you’re like, you know what, this is a method. This is what you need to do to get the results, your kid’s gonna listen. If you fall to your back, if you’re like, oh, you know what, yeah, I’m not too sure about this. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, just do a little bit of work here, your kid is going to sense that and they’re not going to trust you. 

The last point that I want to- that I want to make is as parents you guys need to go deeper, right? You guys need to go deeper and deeper and deeper. Too many parents come in and they think this process is really easy. They’ll Like, you know, what these questions are is, why don’t these kids know how to do it? Again, at the end of the day, you are underestimating what your kids are capable of doing. Right? You’re, you’re you’re, you’re overestimating what they’re capable of doing in the short term, and you’re underestimating what they’re capable of doing in the long term. So that’s why most parents play this kind of vicious cycle of, you know, pushing their kids. And then, you know, when the kids push back, they give up. Pushing the kids, and then when the kids push back, they give up. You need to understand that the top kids have been doing this for a very, very long time, they’ve been starting the preparation from probably year one, even younger, right? Parents probably taught them how to do time samples by the time they’re in kindergarten. They started reading at a very, very young age, and they started building that capacity very, very young, right? 

selective-test-and-oc-test-preparation

If you’re only just starting now, again, you need to make sure that you are on point in terms of your teaching, you need to be patient, and you need to make sure that even when your child pushes, you’re able to control the situation. Again, like I said, if you’re interested in learning more about the method, tonight, six o’clock, everybody mark this down at six o’clock, I’ll be going live. And there’ll be an excerpt from our direct online training that’s viewed by over literally 100 kids right now, on a weekly basis. We have 100 kids right now in the online lessons. You will be all be given a snippet of that at six o’clock. So tune in at six o’clock. Again, this one, this will not be recorded. So once it’s done, it’s gone. It’s away from the system. So make sure you tune in at six o’clock. Tonight we’re going to be going through reading. We’ll be going through a whole bunch of reading passages, right? And yes, Marcus, the changes in this year’s selective schools test and oc test are going to be- the changes this year’s tests are going to be the English and writing going to be a lot more difficult than the prior years. Right. 

The main reason, like I mentioned before, and like yesterday, I was mentioned again, is to create a more equitable oc test because in past years, … has been the predominant factor in deciding your score. And so that’s why a lot of the kids who have been tutored will tend to do better. So again, it’s just a Department of Education trying to kind of weed out the kids who have been tutored a lot at the big name selective schools or opportunity class schools from those who haven’t and trying to give everybody else more of an equitable opportunity. So again, like I mentioned before, English is going to be extremely difficult. Writing is going to be extremely difficult as well. And that’s going to really skew the marks this year. 

It probably won’t skew the marks too much for those who are truly bright and those who have been tutored for a very, very long time and on their game. But again, for those who are kind of in that middle ground, you know, there are going to be some pretty harsh changes happening to them. Anyway, that’s it for me today. Hopefully you guys learned something. Again, remember your child is your fault and your responsibility, right. If you want your child to succeed, you need to understand that it takes an immense amount of time and dedication to get through. That’s it for me today. Tune in at six o’clock. I’ll see you guys soon. Bye bye.

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