Week 3 Writing Homework
- October 30, 2024
- 7:12 pm
- 44 Comments
Writing Homework :
Story starter:
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed…
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My favourite subject to teach is maths because I like the wide variety of topics and real life applications.
“Everything happens for a reason"
“Everything happens for a reason"
My favourite subject to teach is English because it allows students to individually think about the similarities, differences, and nuances across text types
"Let us read and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world” - Voltaire
"Let us read and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world” - Voltaire
My favourite subject to teach is English because I love to help others understand the great impact that words have on informing and shaping our lives. Similarly, I enjoy teaching reading and comprehension as analysis skills are essential to understanding how the world operates.
“Perfection is not attainable but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence"
“Perfection is not attainable but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence"
My favourite subject to teach is English because there is so much we can learn as humans from poems, novels and plays.
"How do you eat a whale? One bite at a time."
"How do you eat a whale? One bite at a time."
I love teaching mathematics because it develops logical thinking and problem-solving skills that are essential in everyday life.
My fav subject to teach is writing because how to express our thoughts. I enjoy teaching english because there is no right or wrong answer and you can be creative.
"A sentence is the final manifestation of everything we believe in" ~ Sid
"A sentence is the final manifestation of everything we believe in" ~ Sid
My favourite subject to teach is Science because there is an endless world of knowledge to discover in the natural world around us.
My favourite subject to teach is thinking skills because it’s very interesting to understand how human reasoning is flawed and why it’s tricky to answer logic problems. I enjoy teaching because of my interest in the psychology of optimising learning and performance. I like teaching kids because they have a happy positive energy . When managed properly , Children are highly engaged and curious .
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44 thoughts on “Week 3 Writing Homework”
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. As part of a secret mission to be the first people on Mars, sweat cascaded down his body and his hands trembled like jelly. The constants ambient noise in the background made him feel like he was a a dentist appointment. Boy, he wished that he could be down on Earth instead on a rocket going a million kilometres and hour. The smell of machinery and oil was already getting on his nerves. It seemed like he was in a warehouse or factory. Inside the rocket, everything was blinding white and monotone grey. Rick felt like he was going to puke.
“We are now exiting the Earth’s atmosphere.” a mechanical voice said without any expression whatsoever. Now he knew there was no going back. He had to to this, because he didn’t have plenty of sublime options. But things changed when he looked out of the window. He saw the Earth in all its glory as cities started to light up. It was extraordinary and no ordinary man could experience it. The Earth was like a marble so giga that it wouldn’t fit inside your home. Goosebumps prickled at his skin and Rick trembled with anticipation.
A few days later of just waiting around in the rocket lounge area, another voice, this time not a machine said, “We are approaching Mars in a few hours. Make sure to get your equipment out, ready to be the first human population there!
“Maybe being in space isn’t so bad.” Rick said to himself, but another astronaut said, “I know right? I have space in my blood. My grandfather is the famous Neil Armstrong.” The two new friends quickly discovered new things about each other. Time passed like an arrow shot by Apollo himself.
On Mars the team quickly announced to the world that they have arrived and started to scurry around like mice find a whole bag of rice, researching and gathering interesting new information, while others tried to rescue the rover Spirit which was still stuck in the sand trap. The astronauts also set up a magnificent, outstanding shelter by programming the 3D printers to build.
After a few months, the scientists and astronauts, including Rick had to leave Mars because they were running out of supplies. While on the rocket back, Rick’s skin tingled when he thought about seeing the Earth again. He felt a huge sense of accomplishment. But he had learnt a lesson on the trip. What might have seemed scary and nerving, was actually an exciting and sublime adventure, making a lot of friends along the way. he learnt to never judge things by their cover.
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Eric Xu – FEEDBACK
My file is in a pdf.
SpaceLaunch
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drwabbas – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed, there were only 2 ways there would be gurgling. Either, it was about to blow up, or the oxygen in the rocket was leaking out. 2 ways, both certain deaths. He seemed like he wasn’t the only one to hear it. The trepidation was tangible, almost like if he breathed too much, it would choke him. The only thing they could do was hope for the best. There was nothing to do, the launching period had started, and they were doomed.
His hands flew across the control board, and as he stared at the screen, he noticed. 3 minutes, 3 minutes to blow up reputation or a world first. Then, as he thought it couldn’t get any worse, it happened. The countdown of the explosion. Everyone was muttering, a series of Mandarin, English and Russian, exploded in anger as it showed on the big screen. Everyone was furious. Why would people even agree on having NASA, SpaceX, CNSA and Roscosmos group together for being the first to travel to Mars. The nose cone started to heat up, and as the engine sputtered again, someone called out something that was the words of a moron. “Keep it going.”
Protests erupted and a split headache erupted through Rick’s head, as he fainted. He woke up with a mere 3 seconds left of blast off. 2 buttons instantly went to his mind. Red and Blue. The matrix. Red to terminate and waste 6 years of work. Blue to continue, and possibly kill everyone in the building. 2… He had to think fast as he stored the button he was going to press. 1.. He pushed his hand straight to the Blue button. He just stared at the sight of the blastoff. Was it going to explode? Was it going to survive? He counted in his head. 1…2…3….4…5…, nothing happened and as they all held their breath, the sky erupted with fireworks.
It had exploded, debris fell onto the surface, and as the smoke cleared, the space ship was still there, but missing a nose cone. It was going to go to Mars, and everyone cheered, but the truth settled quickly, they wouldn’t make it back, unless they sent another one to catch them. They didn’t have time. Then he was thinking, if only, if only, if only.
The next day, they got the message of coming back. They didn’t know how, so they did a freefall. As long as they were in the right direction, they would eventually make it. They came back down at a deathly pace, staight towards the pacific. It was scary, a freefall was when they used the last of the energy to blast them towards Earth, and without steering. Their cameras viewed everything. 120 million degrees celsius on the outside. it landed on Earth with a majestic Splash. Boats instantly went to retrieve the Atronauts.They were alive. They’d done it. Cheering exploded in the control centre, and all Rick did was smile.
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grace.creek – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed, it was supposed to be the adventure of a lifetime. Rick had spent months preparing for the annual science fair with his best friend, Mia. Together, they built a model rocket meant to soar high and showcase their hard work. But now, standing on the launch pad, Rick felt panic wash over him.
“Did you double-check the engine?” he asked nervously.
“Of course! Stop worrying!” Mia replied, excited as she fiddled with the launch controller. As the countdown began, Rick tried to put his fears aside.
3… 2… 1… The engines roared to life, and the rocket shot into the sky, leaving a bright trail of smoke behind. The crowd cheered, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. But then, to Rick’s horror, he heard that strange noise again. The rocket wobbled, and a dark cloud began to form around it.
“No, no, no!” Rick shouted as he watched the rocket spiral downwards. Before he could react, it crashed into a nearby tree with a loud thud, scattering bits of cardboard and foam everywhere. Gasps filled the air, and Rick felt embarrassment wash over him. Their project was ruined, and so were their chances at the science fair. As he walked toward the crash site, something shiny caught his eye—an unbroken glass orb.
Carefully, he picked it up. The orb glowed faintly and felt warm in his hand.
“Mia, come here!” he called. Mia rushed over, her expression shifting from disappointment to intrigue. “What is it?” she wondered.
“I don’t know, but it feels special,” Rick replied, curiosity sparking within him. They brought it back to their school laboratory and discovered it was a rare meteorite fragment known for its unusual properties. It was rumoured to give bursts of energy—just what they needed for their project!
Determined, Rick and Mia brainstormed ways to incorporate the orb into their rocket design. They spent the next few days redesigning their rocket and creating a new propulsion system using the orb’s energy. When the day of the science fair finally arrived, they were well prepared for their second launch. This time, Rick stood confidently at the launch pad, feeling excitement rather than fear.
When the countdown started again, he locked eyes with Mia, who gave him a thumbs-up.
3… 2… 1… They pressed the button, and the rocket launched perfectly into the sky. The orb’s energy propelled it higher than they ever imagined. The crowd gasped in astonishment as the rocket performed loops and twirls, releasing colourful smoke trails. This time, there were no gurgling sounds, just exhilaration. When the rocket descended, Rick and Mia rushed to catch it. Their classmates and teachers bursted into cheers and applause.
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Gina – FEEDBACK
WEEK 3:
Christa’s heart dropped as she heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. She was doomed…
The luminous high-definition monitors cast their spectral radiance across the control room like bioluminescent deep-sea creatures, their obsidian surfaces mirroring the constellation of perspiring faces dripping with beads of trepidation while desperate crimson warning indicators pulsated rapidly, with the inevitability of the imminent explosion of the rocket. Her auburn hair was wet with perspiration as drops of her desperation cascaded down her face.
Her shaking fingers pressed a button, with the words printed: “P.A.”. “Crew!” she yelled, as if she could block out her fears with sound. “WE NEED TO HAVE ALL HANDS ON DECK TO FIX THE EXTERNAL TANK! I REPEAT, FIX THE EXTERNAL TANK!” Christa dashed towards the engine room, past rows of buttons and levers that were supposed to ensure her safety. Not that it mattered now. A pandemonium of staccato alerts seemed to be ascending to an urgent crescendo rang in her eyes, her mind was flashing with her greatest fears of the imminent danger ahead of her.
Finally, she made it to the engine room. Her hands shaking with pure trepidation, she opened the door. Christa gasped in horror. This was even worse than her worst fears…
“EVERYONE! FIRE IN THE ENGINE ROOM! FIRE IN THE ENGINE ROOM!” Christa looked at the information screen. 30 minutes until launch. She and her crew would never get out in time before the explosion. Christa stared in horror as the fire rapidly feasted on the titanium, creeping towards the entrance of the room. Just in time, her crewmate arrived, Daniel, scrambling towards Christa. “I’m here to-” His eyes were wide with terror. “Oh no, the fire’s going to go to the highly flammable external tank!” he cried. “I KNOW THAT’S WHY THE CREW ARE AT THE EXTERNAL TANK YOU DOLT!” “HEY DON’T CALL ME A DOLT!” “Whoa, guys this isn’t a time to fight! We need to save our crew. Fighting is wasting time, you’re letting down everyone we love!” Jaden spoke with absolute truth, staring at Daniel and Christa furiously with determination and anger. “It’s time to work together as a team to fix this mistake!”
As Daniel rushed off to alert the other crew members, Jaden and Christa stayed behind in the engine room, where the fire was making its way slowly but surely to the exit. Jaden hoisted up a fire extinguisher he had brought with him. Christa watched with worry, her anxiety palpable, almost crystallising the air. Jaden’s hand opened the fire extinguisher. He pushed down on the lever, his eyes brimming with hopeful desperation. Nothing but a helpless blob of white fell out. Jaden’s head turned towards Christa, hopeless and depressed with the very last candle of hope extinguished. “I’m so sorry, Christa! I tried everything I could yet…” “No, Jaden. You are an amazing person with a heart worthy of gold. Your life is worth fighting for, and so are our crew’s. So, we’ll extinguish the fire, TOGETHER.” Christa and Jaden’s hands grasped the fire extinguisher, channeling all the hope and strength into the fire extinguisher lever.
“We did it!” screamed Christa with pure joy. Together, they had saved the lives of the crew on the Challenger Launch. After all, life’s burdens aren’t supposed to be carried on one person, it’s always for more people to carry!
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B H – FEEDBACK
writing-week 3
Missile Launch
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ran.d.f.chen – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. The engines spat erratic bursts of flame, a fierce orange flicker against the blackness. They sputtered and roared like wild beasts wounded and thrashing. Flames tore out in jagged bursts, spiralling into space, illuminating the hull with a fiery, desperate glow. Each flare painted eerie shadows across the interior of the cockpit as Rick grimaced, watching the flames take hold of the rocket.
This space mission was meant to search a nearby galaxy to gather important research information. He had worked for many flights and tasks. However, this one was the most important, rigorously training his skills, suiting him to every situation that could be impactful. But now, a sudden asteroid, never recorded before, had crashed into one of the rocket’s bolts, rendering the thin band of titanium futile. Now that band couldn’t regulate the engine anymore.
Rick knew he had to fix it before the rocket dissolved under the pressure. His heart relentlessly pummelled against his chest like the thundering hooves of one thousand wild stallions. He quickly changed into his protective gearsuit, opening the latch. He could practically feel the structure beneath him straining as the unrestrained flames licked and burned against the hull. His breathing quickened, filling his helmet with the sharp, anxious rhythm of survival instincts. If he didn’t fix it, the entire rocket—and his life of course—would disintegrate into a single, fiery burst against the endless night.
For a moment, he felt frozen. The image of home and the loved ones he might never see again rose in his mind, nearly making him stumble as he reached for the hatch. But with a shuddering breath, he steadied himself. He reminded himself of every mission he’d ever survived, every time he’d faced failure and come out the other side. He couldn’t let fear control him now. He had one task: get to the bolt, secure it, and restore the balance then find the planet.
Stepping carefully into the star-speckled void, the cold immediately seeped through even his protective suit, chilling him as much as the awareness of his peril. Slowly, he reached the engine where the unruly flames danced, illuminating the loose bolts with flickers of fierce orange light. Gripping his wrench tightly, Rick struggled to keep his hands steady as he positioned himself next to the bolt.
The heat was now even more overwhelming, radiating from the engine with an intensity that seemed to penetrate even Rick’s protective gear. It was as if he were standing at the mouth of a volcano, the fiery breath scorching through the metal plating and searing the air around him. The heat pulsed in sync with the roaring flames, creating an oppressive weight that made it almost impossible for him to focus.
Gritting his teeth, he tried again. The wrench was stubborn, fighting him at every turn, and his breaths came hard and fast. The metal screamed under pressure, vibrating with the maddening whine of something far beyond its limits. His forearms burned with exertion, but he couldn’t afford to pause, even for a second. Ignoring the ache in his limbs and the suffocating heat pressing down, Rick wedged the wrench against the bolt once more and leaned in with every ounce of strength he had. With a low, grinding creak, the bolt finally began to turn, easing back into its place as he twisted with grim determination. He had finally done it.
Rick finally let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, his body sagging against the cold metal of the hull. The roar of the engine, now steadied, pulsed with a reassuring hum instead of its previous angry sputter. He closed his eyes, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over him, but beneath it was a deep sense of relief. He had succeeded at last.
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tli.sydney – FEEDBACK
My heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. The entire ship was burning, melting, crackling in the fire and the hot plasma as it went all the way down to melting the marrow. There were only a few lucky people left, including my wife and myself , hidden away in a refrigerator room. It all started 2 hours ago when they were about to launch a rocket ship. Over the first few minutes, everything was fine. We launch off the launch pad and soon, everything on earth looked more small and minute. But then we go too carried away look at the earth getting smaller and smaller, that we lost track of time. We were supposed to go towards the moon but since we were too carried away in looking at earth, that we ended up near mars. It was scorching, marrow melting hot as the heat swept over the ship. Crew mates melted before our eyes as we took refuge in the refrigeration room. It was the only safe place, for now. As we continued slowly climbing towards mars, and it got hotter and hotter. The heat now made it room temperature in the refrigerator room. I pressed the emergency call room on the wall of the room. It rang and then…
“Brrrrr, Ring hello? This is Space X rocket service, how may I help you?” Questioned the person on the phone.
“HELP US WE ARE ABOUT TO MELT AND DIE! WE NEED YOU TO PILOT THE SHIP BACK TO EARTH SO WE CAN GET SOME COLD AIR! THERE HAVE ALREADY BEEN FIVE FATALITIES!” I shouted over the phone.
Without another word the person on the phone got workers from the build department to ride us out of our situation. Slowly but surely, the machine began to creak and turn. Then next thing we knew was that we where heading off into deep space while in a fridge. We could get out now. The heat was gone. And it would take another stressful two hours of grieve to get back to earth.
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Jessica Xie – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. Being part of NASA’s mission to mars was an amazing opportunity, but in some cases, not so very cheerful. Rick was experimenting with some gadgets and let’s just say; his experiment didn’t work out well.
The night before, Rick thought he had a magnificent break through and woke up to an idea in his head. He got out of bed and made his way to the science lab. The room was dark and as silent as a grave. He turned on the lights to see beakers filled with liquids. “Hmm, that’s odd.” Rick said, while he wandered around the room.
Rick thought, that instead of using gas propellants to power up rockets, he could use an artificial star which he would call a super nova star. He thought he could use plasma heat to make the super nova star heat up and blast out to space. Except, he wasn’t the smartest person in the crew. Rick only got asked to join NASA because he knew a lot about science and space and helped design the first rocket to go to the moon. You may think that’s brilliant, and that Rick is so smart, whereas in NASA, he’s probably the dumbest.
After he formed his “Super nova star” he tested it out by connecting the main wires of the rocket with the star. Once he turned on the rocket, he realised his mistake. He realised that he’d just make the rocket blow up in a matter of minutes. Suddenly the rocket started to gurgle, and Rick ran to the observation window instead of staring at the rocket, mesmerised. Through the observation window, the artificial star pulsed with increasing brilliance, its light so intense it left purple afterimages dancing in Rick’s vision. The vacuum chamber ‘s reinforced walls seemed to breathe with the effort of containing such enormous power, while emergency cooling systems hissed their arctic breath into the increasingly warm air. The heat in the air was starting to increase. Rick couldn’t take the heat anymore. He took off his shirt and started to come up with a plan.
Suddenly, Rick felt as if he had an actual light bulb above his head because he just had the best idea!
Rick thought that if he had water that he could pour on the rocket, but not just any water; Liquid Helium, then the rocket will freeze, well the circuits would freeze. It would trap the heat so that the rocket wouldn’t have that big an impact when it blows up because the Liquid Helium would be like a protective shield.
Rick looked around to see if he could spot one of the tanks of Liquid Helium. There were lots of them in the lab. He saw one in the corner of the lab. He opened the door of the observation room and tried to run as quickly as he could to the tank. The rocket started to bubble and gurgle even more. He was running out of time.
Just in the nick of time, he got the tank and poured the tank on the rocket. Rick hid under the table and hoped for the best. Suddenly, when the rocket looked like it was about to blow the water started to freeze. The Liquid Helium froze the rocket and luckily the rocket didn’t blow.
“I will never experiment again.” He spoke. From that day forward, Rick actually never experimented again, which was probably for the best.
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Annabelle Tung – FEEDBACK
CHASING THE SUN BY KINGSTON CHENG
Rick’s heart stopped when he heard the gurgling of the engine. He was doomed. He was part of a mission to the moon but the gurgling seemed to make an impression that the reactor would explode. This thought made Rick’s hand tremble uncontrollably. The goal of this mission was to extract moon dust for scientist’s to study. Although Rick had been part of many missions, this would be his most crucial one yet. The rocket flared the orange flames, making Rick feel very hot. Rick entered the rocket, ready for what ever he was about to face. The rocket slowly moved up and Rick looked down to say goodbye to earth. There was no turning back now.
“WE ARE LEAVING EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE” a speaker blared in Rick’s ear, making him wince. Rick exchanged faces with the other astronauts. Rick felt excited but also a bit nervous. Soon, Rick felt himself being pulled up and down. The rocket must’ve left Earth by now. He enjoyed having to float around but he felt a bit weary and started to hallucinate. Side effects were already making Rick feel ill and they haven’t even gotten to a quarter of the way. Rick sighed as he looked at the miniature planet. Earth seemed so small from afar. Rick was thirsty and needed water.
However, when he opened his bottle, the water seemed to float around, escaping Rick’s thirsty mouth. He asked the others how to drink water and they showed Rick that was a unique bottle that allowed drinking in space. Rick was astonished as his crew showed him every single piece of information about the extraordinary bottle. Rick then took a large sip of water and that made him feel satisfied. Rick asked his crew how many more kilometers there were remaining.
“About 500 kilometres away.” one of his mates told him. Rick felt a pinch of boredom. The smell of the rocket smelled obnoxious and Rick didn’t want to be in the rocket for another minute. The rocket was pretty big and he explored every single part of the rocket. Since he had never been in a rocket like this before, he was dumbfounded about the abundant parts of the rocket. The rocket was going at about 1 kilometer a second, making it really fast. Rick felt as if the rocket had been flying for 1 hour because the journey was only to last for about 1000 seconds.
Soon, the crew landed on the moon and they immediately started extracting moon dust for the scientists. After a long hour of extracting moon dust from the moon, the crew headed to the rocket to return back to Earth. The rocket was running out of fuel, and Rick was apprehensive. that the rocket would run out of fuel and they would all die. Fortunately, they had refueled the rocket on the moon when Rick wasn’t there to see. Rick kept rambling about the dangers of running out of fuel but the crew didn’t care or listen to him. That was until one person decided to tell Rick about the refuel on the moon. Rick was understanding and apologized to his crew mates about talking so much.
Rick looked out the window of the rocket to see Earth getting bigger and bigger by the second. Soon enough, they landed on Earth and gave the moon dust to the scientists. Rick sighed as he left the pristine room. He had succeeded in this crucial mission.
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Cherie – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed—or so he thought. Instead of being swept away in an epic space adventure, he was standing on the observation deck of the Experimental Advanced Superconducting Tokamak (EAST), witnessing his mother’s work in the heart of the fusion project.
The control room buzzed with excitement, and the air was thick with the scent of hot metal and electronics. Rick’s mother, Dr. Thompson, was immersed in her calculations, her brow furrowed in concentration. She had spent years perfecting the conditions for fusion, and today they were on the brink of breaking a world record for sustained plasma reactions.
As the countdown to the reactor’s operation approached, Rick leaned against the cool glass, watching the swirling orange and blue plasma dance within the tokamak. It was mesmerizing, the colors shifting like the Northern Lights, but what really captivated him was the low hum that vibrated through the floor. It felt like a heartbeat, as if the reactor were alive. He closed his eyes, allowing the sound to envelop him, each pulse a reminder of the power they were harnessing.
“Ready?” his mother called out, her voice breaking through his reverie. He nodded, his stomach twisting with a mix of excitement and anxiety. The atmosphere crackled with tension, the anticipation palpable.
As the reactor fired up, a wave of heat washed over him, almost overwhelming. It felt like standing too close to a campfire, but Rick didn’t step back. Instead, he leaned forward, entranced. The air shimmered with energy, and he could almost taste the metallic tang of ionised particles swirling around him.
Then came the light—a blinding flash as the plasma reached 120 million degrees, a surge of energy that lit up the room and echoed in his chest. He gasped, feeling the warmth radiate even from a distance. It was the moment scientists had dreamed of, a step closer to recreating the sun’s power here on Earth.
Rick turned to his mother, whose eyes sparkled with triumph. In that instant, he understood that this was more than just science; it was a symphony of human endeavour . He could hear it in the hum, see it in the colours, feel it in the heat, and taste it in the air. This wasn’t just a breakthrough; it was a glimpse into the future—a future that he, too, wanted to be part of.
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yuezhu-xuehotmail-com – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. The countdown had started, and the control room’s red lights pulsed ominously, matching the frantic rhythm of his heartbeat. He had just a few seconds to decide—stay and risk getting blasted to space dust or make a desperate dash for the exit.
He glanced at the console, where his fingers had typed in the last sequence moments before the alarm blared. It was supposed to be a routine test. But the calculations had been wrong, and the ignition sequence was live. With every passing second, the roar of the engines grew louder, drowning out his thoughts.
“Rick! What are you doing?” shouted Marla, his colleague, her face pale with panic. She was already halfway to the door, but he hesitated, torn between his instinct to flee and the urge to save their project.
“We can’t leave it like this!” he yelled back, adrenaline pumping through his veins. “We need to shut it down!”
Marla’s eyes widened. “Are you insane? It’s too late! We have to go!”
But Rick felt a surge of determination. They had worked for years on this project—their dream of creating the first sustainable rocket propulsion system. He couldn’t let it end in flames, not like this.
He sprinted to the console, heart racing as he scrambled to remember the emergency shutdown procedure. With only moments to spare, he began inputting commands, fingers flying across the keys. The engine’s gurgling intensified, a metallic growl that echoed through the room.
“Rick!” Marla screamed, her voice sharp with fear. “Get out now!”
“Just a few more seconds!” he shouted back, sweat trickling down his forehead. He could see the lights on the control panel flashing in warning, a countdown ticking down to zero.
Then, with a final keystroke, he hit the shutdown button. The engines roared, and for a heartbeat, he thought he had failed. But then, the gurgling stopped. The lights flickered, and silence enveloped the room.
Breathless, Rick turned to Marla, who was staring at him wide-eyed, a mix of relief and disbelief washing over her face. “You did it,” she whispered, the tension in her shoulders easing.
But just as relief began to settle in, a deep rumble shook the building. The emergency sirens blared back to life, and Rick’s heart sank anew. The reactor was unstable.
“Back to the exit!” he shouted, grabbing Marla’s arm. They sprinted down the corridor, the ground trembling beneath them, knowing that the fight for survival was only just beginning.
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samdhaklive-com-au – FEEDBACK
Writing Wk 3
Rick’s heart sank as he heard the ominous gurgling of the rocket engines. This was it. The high-definition screens flickered with an eerie, otherworldly glow, casting an ethereal blue light that danced across the control room like bioluminescent creatures from the depths. The glossy surfaces of the monitors reflected the anxious faces of the crew, each bead of sweat glistening under the pulsating crimson warnings that signalled an impending disaster. The room was a cacophony of frenzied alerts, titanium cooling fans whirring incessantly like mechanical hummingbirds, and the deep, resonant rumble of the rocket engines permeated the sterile air.
Commands were fired off in rapid succession, bouncing between Mandarin, English, and Russian, creating a chaotic symphony of urgency that echoed through the space like linguistic ping-pong balls. Rick felt the weight of impending doom press heavily on his chest. Every molecule of the antiseptic air seemed charged with tension, the atmosphere thick with the frantic energy of a team teetering on the brink of catastrophe. Suddenly Rick saw a miniature hole in the external tank, the hydrogen could create a massive fire. With shaking fingers pressed a button, with the words printed: “P.A.”. “Crew!” Rick yelled, as if he could block out his fears with sound. “WE NEED TO HAVE ALL HANDS ON DECK TO FIX THE EXTERNAL TANK! I REPEAT, FIX THE EXTERNAL TANK! WE ONLY HAVE 1 HOUR UNTIL TAKE OFF!”
Electrical tension crystallised the air into an almost visible matrix of anxiety, while on the primary display, the plasma ‘s luminescent choreography devolved into chaos, a million-degree mirror of the fragmenting human cooperation below, Rick watched a video tape of his crew whilst chewing his nails anxiously below him a formicary of humans swarmed towards the external tank in a flurry of confusion as people began to fix the tank. Rick burst out of his room and went straight down to the engine room his hands shook with pure trepidation as he watched a blazing inferno that spat erratic bursts of flame was about to engulf the tankage and pipes of the rocket. The fuel was already inside the pipes and if it reached it things would get messy. He quickly changed into his protective gearsuit, opening the latch. He could practically feel the structure beneath him starting to melt as the unrestrained flames licked and burned against the room. His breathing quickened, filling his head with the sharp, anxious rhythm of survival instincts. If he didn’t fix it, the entire rocket—and his life of course—would disintegrate into a single, fiery burst against the endless fire. Rick’s hands palpitated as he screamed at his crew member to get fire extinguishers.
The heat had become unbearable, radiating from the engine with a force that seemed to pierce through Rick’s protective suit. It felt like he was on the edge of a volcano, its molten breath scorching through the metal layers and turning the air around him into a furnace. The intense heat pulsed in rhythm with the roaring flames, creating a stifling pressure that made concentration nearly impossible. It was as if every wave of heat was a physical blow, pushing against his very will to stay focused.
Rick gritted his teeth in sheer agony as his crew and himself tried to fight back the unwavering force of the raging conflagration. They would need to suffocate the fire and take away its oxygen. That was it Rick needed to take away its oxygen and he could do that by releasing the tarmac that was supposed to cover the rocket. WHOOSH!
The tarmac floated down and easily disposed of the fire. Rick’s heart finally began to steady as the flames subsided, their fierce glow replaced by the cool, dim light of the control room. He joined his crewmates, their faces smeared with soot but glowing with triumph. “We did it,” Rick repeated, his voice hoarse but filled with relief. The team shared a moment of silent celebration, knowing they had overcome the impossible. The rocket was saved, and with it, their mission to explore the cosmos. As the final checks were completed and the countdown resumed, Rick took a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. The threat had been vanquished, and together they had proved their fortitude. The engines roared to life once more, but this time, it was a symphony of progress, a prelude to their journey beyond the stars.
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Phuong Nguyen – FEEDBACK
Petrified Ricks’s heart throbbed, as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. Rick entered a room, filled with glistening glass. An aroma of smoke started to cloud the room. Rick started to hyperventilate swiftly and rapidly. Jolts of trepidation went down Rick’s spine. Sweat cascaded down his vibrant cheeks. Suddenly, a gleaming, binding light shone in the room. “Launching rocket in 3, 2, 1”, declared a voice. Rick eyes widened.
WHOOSH! ‘ARGH!’ squealed Rick. Dizziness engulfed Rick. Agony filled inside of Rick. His eyes became weary and shut. Eventually, he woke up. The air felt eerie, as it felt moist, damp and numbing. As he gazed out of the window, he saw eternal darkness with scorching stars stacked inside of it. He stared at his right to see Earth. He started to drift away. He gawped, as his face transformed into a melancholy sulk. Tears trickled down his cheeks. Rick was horrified by the fact that on the red planet, dust storms are frequent.
After months and months of awaiting in a spaceship brutally, Rick finally got to exit the cramped rocket. He slapped on his suit and arrived onto Mars. All he could see was a barren planet covered by dull sapphire orange dust. The planet felt glacial. Rick immediately started to collect samples and research more about the peculiar planet. After that, Rick prepared sturdy shelter for himself out of metal. In the end, it was sublime. The sun gave Rick an ecstatic wink. Finally, it was time for Rick to retreat back to home. Suddenly, a dust storm materialised. Rick’s nightmare had become a reality. He sprinted hastily through the thick air and rugged ground and made it into the spaceship alive.
He gathered his samples for intrigued scientists to study and entered the colossal, towering rocket and after some time came back home. Rick was a quokka. Crowds of people cheered and applauded for Rick’s fulfilment of being the first person to step on Mars. A feeling of glee spread in Rick and he was bombarded by flattery. He was gifted a luminescent medal for his accomplishment. Rick was also given the nickname ‘Martian’.
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Bhupender _ – FEEDBACK
this is my homework, thks
Rick
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Ethan Lee – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart sank as he listened to the loud gurgling of the rocket engines. This was it—the final gamble. They could lose 6 months of work and die in the process or succeed miraculously. The high-resolution screens cast an eerie blue light across the crew’s panic-stricken faces like a bioluminescent sea creature, it’s obsidian-black screen mirroring the perspiring faces. Sweat cascaded down his body and he shivered violently despite the insurmountable heat beyond the tritium-inforced walls of the rocket
Beyond the main chamber, the newly concocted spaceship pulsed with an ethereal flame like an insatiable desire. As the rocket reached new altitudes of heat; reaching 120 million degrees Celsius; it was seething with the future of space exploration, a breaking point in the quest to unveil the secrets that the cosmos has concealed. “T-Minus 3. Preparing for Departure. 3…2…1… Launching Supernova from Terminal 3, Cape Canaveral, Earth.” A monotonous voice called. The words were spoken like a pen to an obituary. Rick grimaced as he gradually felt the pent up G-forces taking their toll on him. He could see the vision of Earth fading into a cloud of dust. He could see the anxious faces of the crew. And soon, he could see everything. He clutched on tight, wishing that his childhood dream had never come true.
Down at Cape Canaveral, the spaceship crew fiddled nervously, monitoring the status of the rocket apprehensively. The rocket seemed to be accelerating. In mere seconds, it had reached the thermosphere – destined to reach the exosphere soon. The spaceship could either be a massive success or a disastrous failure. And they hoped it was the former.
Rick gazed outside, the tension onboard slowly seeping away. It was a risky gambit – the authority had said – if something had gone wrong, they couldn’t afford to lose an entire group of blooming astronauts. And it had been Rick who valiantly put his hand up for the offer. Now he sorely regretted his decision. Am I really going to die here, afraid and alone? He thought.
Measuring the altitude of the spaceship, he was approaching the moon in record time, his fuel remaining miraculously intact. But that wasn’t his goal. Their real aim was to test if the legendary Supernova could touch the surface of Mars. As Rick floated through the lonely spaceship, the vastness of space surrounding him, he wondered if he was important among the billions of light years that space spanned across. Whether he would be forgotten in the annals of time or stand among those who are great. He may never know what his legacy shall become.
Days went by. Weeks. Months even. Slowly, slowly, the red planet came into perspective – its fervent dust storms howling a tune of sorrow that rang bittersweet notes on the tip of Rick’s tongue. He had long grown accustomed to the endless howling of the titanium fans and the steady grumbling of the abyss of space that he was surprised to hear a message broadcast to him. “Officer Burns, you are approaching your destination.” He gazed outside and miraculously, he was at the doorstep of Mars. He bound out ecstatically, laughing wildly as tears of cathartic relief streamed down his face. He had done it! He had reached Mars!
Scampering around gleefully, he shoved handfuls of Martian rocks into specimen containers and jars. He felt as if he had won the lottery of space exploration. With replenished determination and power, he thrust the United Nations flag upon the hard Martian surface proudly. As he skipped back towards the Supernova, the sediment beneath his feet. Slowly but surely, dust swirled up around him like a cyclone. This could only mean one thing. A dust storm. Rick ran. Ran as fast as he could in his burly suit. The dust storm was catching up like a cheetah chasing an antelope. He stormed into the rocket, slamming the door shut behind him. No, he couldn’t go out like this. Not after everything. He revved up the engine nervously, feeling the same sense of trepidation like it was the reciprocal of the first panic-stricken moment. A supernova erupted into the atmosphere, leaving Mars and heading back for Earth. That’s when Rick noticed. They were running out of fuel, and quickly too. The screens flashed red. They were stuck – stuck in the dark embrace of space
FEEDBACK
Benjamin Yang – FEEDBACK
The rocket launch
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. He was on a mission to explore the distant exoplanet of Gliese 12b, 40 light years away. It could had been an easy mission, if someone hadn’t turned on the quantum plasma ray on.
“Why did you do that!” yelled Rick, as the rocket spun out of control in all three directions (front left and up) at the same time.
“I accidently bumped into it, I forgot it was the control room and not the gaming room!” Jaden protest as the engine moaned again. Rick stared out the bullet-proof glass window and to his horror, a grey gas had started to flow out of the engine. He banged a button.
“Everyone! Go to the engine room and check the conditions!” He flicked the stellar reverse antimatter ray and gradually, the spinning stopped accelerating. Rick twisted the dial into max force and the spinning stopped. He banged the button again.
“Report conditions!” He yelled
“Anti-neutron reactor’s okay! But there’s a leaking compressed hydrogen tank!” Came the reply.
“Get back here right now!” shouted Rick.
He flicked a switch, the emergency supercooling vessels hissing their arctic breath into the chamber. The superconductors sizzle with electricity as Rick flicked switches, pressed buttons, pushed sliders and twisted dials, struggling to regain control of the rocket.
Finally, with a head full of sweat, each drop a bead of trepidation Rick sat down, his heart thumping against his chest. It had been a terrifying experience, but they going to be fine.
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Tony Jian – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. There was no turning back. The rocket had taken off.
Up to this moment, Rick had been studying astrology for many years until he could leave Earth. He was on a mission to discover more about the ice poles on Mars. This rocket he was on would take him up to the International Space Station.
Initially, Rick had been studying for a trip to the moon, but later on NASA had asked for some trained astronauts to embark on a mission to study Mars.
Inside, Rick felt a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Since he had trained for this expedition for years, he felt he should try his hardest and put all of his effort into this.
‘Welcome to the ISS fellow astronauts, I am the CEO of our current Mars mission. Our mission is to find out more about the ice poles on Mars. If we can find some water there, we may be able to transport some of our citizens there to test the life on Mars. Climate change is annihilating our planet, and in 100 years, we may need to migrate over to Mars. Thank you’
Rick’s excitement really started to kick in. He wanted to start today, not tomorrow.
He stayed excited for about five minutes, until something tremendous happened.
‘ Code Black, Code Black, Code Black,’ emanated blaringly from the speakers. Rick swiftly checked his tag, and sure enough, Code Black was a crash landing.
The instruction informed him that he must enter safety mode which would allow them to crash safely. After that, a crew member would call for help and someone would come to take them back to Earth.
‘Everyone, please enter safety mode,’ the speaker bellowed. Immediately, Rick and his crewmates anxiously buckled themselves into their robust seats surrounded with pads. As the instructor entered his safety mode, they crashed abruptly.
Rick palpitated tremendously as the shockwave hit. Rick felt as though he had fallen out of a plane. Luckily, he and his crewmates exited the rocket unharmed.
Instantly, the authoritative commander instructed Rick to phone the NASA control room on Earth. Immediately, he started to dial the number. As he started to call, something unexpected happened. He was told that NASA would respond instantly. But…
1 second – No Response
2 seconds – No Response
3 seconds – No Response
4 seconds – Response!
“ The person you are calling is unavailable, please try again later.”
‘Well that was worthless, ‘Rick exclaimed, ‘ I think this is how we die.’
There were a lot of hugs and goodbyes going around. But mainly, Rick was disappointed that his very first space expedition had been a failure. He was looking forward to starting his job, and researching about the ice poles, but all of that had been lost.
Until, someone started ringing…
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Shane Chee – FEEDBACK
My homework
Wed Scholarly Zoom Meeting Louie
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Tina205 – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling sound of the rocket engines. He was doomed. 3 minutes. 3 minutes for the two options to happen. Emergency shut down or to lose 6 months of work? Time was running out. The luminous high-definition monitors cast their spectral radiance across the control room like bioluminescent deep-sea creatures, their obsidian surfaces mirroring the constellation of perspiring faces while crimson warning indicators pulsated with the inevitability of a dying star. His mother, Dr. Astley furiously ran from computer to computer, tapping keys like their lives depended on it. The sound of clacking keys was soon overpowered by the loud thrumming of the fusion power, rising in a towering crescendo.
The towering turquoise unearthly glow of the writing plasma cast serpentine shadows of obsidian black, contrasting to the crimson red glow of the red signs on the computers. Steam hissed out of the valves as the scientists rapidly punched in complex algorithms. The atmosphere grew heavy with the caustic bouquet of ionised oxygen as the superconducting magnets strained against forces that could crush mountains, their titanic effort manifesting in subsonic vibrations that liquefied the marrow in Rick’s bones. The anti-cooling system exploded, sending scattering bursts of freezing wind in his direction. Despite the inferno blazing in front of him, he felt goosebumps pop up all over his skin.
Electrical tension crystallised the air into an almost visible matrix of anxiety, while on the primary display, the plasma’s luminescent choreography devolved into chaos, a million-degree mirror of the fragmenting human cooperation below. A babel of technical jargon in three languages collided like accelerated particles in a verbal cyclotron, their crucial meanings scattered like quantum possibilities while emergency indicators painted a chiaroscuro of amber and crimson across increasingly desperate expressions. Raw fear emanated its distinctive biochemical signature, interweaving with the molecular ghosts of burnt arabica and the sharp lightning-strike presence of ozone as Rick observed his mother’s titanium-strong composure fracture almost imperceptibly around the edges.
The computer was calming down and the glowing plasma had subsided to a flickering flame. Pressurised cork projectiles escaped their champagne prisons with miniature sonic booms while digital displays cascaded with congratulatory transmissions from every corner of Earth’s fusion research network, creating a waterfall of multilingual electronic euphoria. The lingering signature of ionised atmosphere merged with effervescent celebration, reminiscent of both primordial lightning and technological rebirth, while beneath it all, the steady heartbeat of the reactor continued its fusion-powered promise of post-scarcity civilisation
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huashang66 – FEEDBACK
Rick’s heart plummeted as his auditory senses picked up on the rumble of the rocket engines. He was part of this secret collusion to be the first people on Jupiter, sweat cascaded down his body making him look as if he had a shower and did’nt dry himself. His hands trembled and gave a river of sweat dripping onto the merciless, metalic ground. The frequency of these clinical noises were going to make his ears fall off. He wished that he could be down on Earth instead of on a this merciless rocket going a million kilometres and hour with tempretures going impossibly higher. The smell of machinery, oil and sweat were already getting on his nerves. It seemed like he was in a oven. Inside the rocket he was getting dizzy by white and mundane grey spinning around him. Rick felt like he was going to puke bombard the rocket with vomit. “We are now exiting the Earth’s atmosphere.” A mechanical voice said with a merciless voice . Now he knew there was no going back. He had to to this, because he didn’t have any options. A his spine shivered and his stomach tightened. But things changed when he looked out of the window. He saw that earth had decsended as cities started to light up. It was extraordinary. No ordinary man could experience it. The Earth was like a multi faceted marble with a variety of colours that it wouldn’t fit inside your home. Goosebumps prickled at his skin and Rick trembled with anticipation and trepidation. A few days later of just waiting around in the rocket lounge area, another voice, this time not a machine said, “We are approaching Jupiter in a few hours. Make sure to get your equipment out, ready to be the first human population there! “Maybe being in space isn’t so bad.” Rick said to himself, but another astronaut said, “I know right? space in my blood. My grandfather is the famous John H. Glenn.” The two new partners quickly discovered new things about each other. Time passed like an arrow shot by a bow. On Jupiter the team quickly announced to the world that they have arrived and started to scurry around like mice that find a whole bag of cheese, researching and gathering interesting and intuiging data, while others tried to rescue the rover Spirit which was still stuck in the sand trap. The astronauts also set up a magnificent, outstanding shelter by programming the 3D printers to build. After a few months, the scientists and astronauts, including Rick had to leave Jupiter because they were running out of supplies. While on the rocket back, Rick’s skin tingled when he thought about seeing the Earth again. He felt a huge sense of discovery. But he had learnt a lesson on the trip. What might have seemed scary and nerving, was actually an exciting and sublime adventure, we should always try things even if they seem scary so we can make the best out of it.
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sagar.khandre@gmail.com – FEEDBACK
My file is down there. Hope you enjoy!
Pranav – Scholarship Writing Week 1 (1)
Rick’s heart dropped as he heard the gurgling of the rocket engines. He was doomed. The countdown had started, and his mind raced faster than the fiery trails of the rockets blasting into space. It was supposed to be the adventure of a lifetime—a journey to explore Mars with his dad, the world-renowned rocket scientist. But now, standing on the launch pad, he felt more like a lab experiment gone wrong.
“Three… two… one…” The announcer’s voice echoed through the loudspeakers. Rick’s gut twisted. He had dreamt of this moment, of traveling to other worlds, but now his excitement was mingled with sheer panic. His dad hadn’t wanted him to miss this opportunity, but Rick had been sick lately. What if something went wrong? What if the engines failed? His heart raced as memories of the doctor’s warnings played in his mind.
Suddenly, a loud whoosh filled the air, and Rick was jolted back to reality. The rocket lifted into the sky, leaving a trail of thick smoke behind. He watched in awe as it soared higher, disappearing into the blue expanse. But even as it rose majestically, a chill ran down his spine. Was that really his father in there? What if something awful happened up there? Panic bubbled inside him, threatening to spill over.
“Rick, focus!” he whispered to himself, trying to shake the dread. But his thoughts spiraled as he recalled the stories of spacecraft disasters. He imagined the rocket exploding in a fiery burst, sending pieces hurtling back toward Earth. “No! Stop thinking like that!” he scolded himself. He had to believe it would be okay; he had to think positive!
As minutes ticked by, Rick felt glued to the spot, anxiously checking his watch. Reports streamed in on the news screen beside him. The rocket had successfully entered orbit, and people cheered around him. But Rick felt like he was watching a movie that didn’t include him—a thrilling tale filled with our daring heroes and epic adventures, yet he was stuck on the sidelines.
“Rocket astronauts are brave,” he thought, a wave of admiration washing over him. They were doing what most people only dreamed of, facing danger head-on. Yet, all he felt was fear. He knew he should be celebrating, but all he could think about was how much he wanted to reach for the stars himself, free of fear, free to fly. As the cheers grew louder, Rick clenched his fists, willing himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he could be brave too.